Nervous Wreck Jokes

What lies on the bottom of the ocean and shakes?

A nervous wreck.

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What is at the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck.

What is quivering at the bottom of the ocean?

A nervous wreck.

What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck! I first heard this at xmas 1952 (64 years ago) and it still makes me smile.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

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Shake Jokes More Shake Jokes

What do a baby and an Etch A Sketch have in common?

If you don't like it, you just shake it and start over.

What animal do you get when shake a pig?

a ham-stir

Sea Jokes More Sea Jokes

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

I don't know I have DirecTV.

What is the difference between a portuguese woman and a sea lion ?

One of them has shiny bodyhair and smells like cod, the other one is a mammal that lives in the sea.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

How did you prepare for today?

red carpet question with "Cocaine and sit ups." #GoldenGlobes

Why are football grounds odd?

Because you can sit in the stands but can't stand in the sits!

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

Why did Raggedy Anne get kicked out of the toybox?

She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face and screaming "Lie to me! Lie to me!!!"

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, lying in a ditch?

Phil

Ocean Jokes More Ocean Jokes

What do you call a group of singing people floating around in the ocean?

An acappellago

What has two knees and swims in the ocean?

A Two-knee fish!.....

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What would you're opening line be?

Like outrageous, dark, funny whatever let's hear!

What are you planting???

B: The seed of doubt. A: Dude, that's the worst joke I've ever heard! A: Or is it the best???

Xmas Jokes More Xmas Jokes

What has eight arms and tells the time?

A clocktopus Shoutout to the popper from my Xmas dinner

What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

Smile Jokes More Smile Jokes

What do you call a guy going down on a girl with a smile on his face?

A Gladiator

Why are goldfish crackers always smiling?

Because they're baked..