Peace Jokes

What did the stamp say to the envelope?

Stick with me man... We'll go places. Peace. Hmath out.

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What is the difference between Donald and a peace of sh..?

NOTHING....!!!

What did the BMW say to the Audi on the side of the road?

Rust-in-peace.

What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want?

They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east.

Why is there all this hate against necromancers?

They are just trying to raise a family in peace.

What kinds of vegetables did Ghandi prefer?

Peace and carrots... Thought this up at work today. I'm sure it's been done before but it made me chuckle...

What did the neckbeard say while giving the eulogy for his extremely flatulent friend?

Rip in peace

Why is Islam called the religion of peace?

After you leave the religion, you rest in peace.

What is the opposite of peace?

is the question.

Why do you want to be Jedi?

Imagines using 'the force' to steal everyone's cats and building a cat army To keep the peace

Why can't there be peace in the Middle East?

It IS what it IS.

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What did GB say to EU?

Peace out, EUROn EUROwn!

Why can't there ever be peace in the Middle East?

We can't even get FIVE DENTISTS to agree on a toothpaste. That's why.

What were the martyr's last words?

I believe in peace in our time

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Road Jokes More Road Jokes

Why are you late Joseph?

Joseph: Because of a sign down the road. Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late Joseph: The sign said "School Ahead Go Slow!"

Why did the Chili Pepper cross the road?

To get to the Otherside!

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do you call a man in a hole?

Phil.

What do you call a man with a double decker bus on his head ?

The deceased !

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

What fetish does winners hate the most?

The feet

Why does Yellow hate Red?

Because Red Blue Green.

Sh Jokes More Sh Jokes

What is the difference between Donald and a peace of sh..?

NOTHING....!!!

What happened to the guy who replaced his laxatives with Prozac?

He didn't give a sh...

Necromancer Jokes More Necromancer Jokes

Why is there all this hate against necromancers?

They are just trying to raise a family in peace.

What do you call a dark wizard that loves to give hickeys?

a necromancer

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What is the real reason leaves fall to the ground?

They know people will blow them.

What did the yoga teacher say when someone asked if she wanted to leave the party early?

Namaste

Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

Why does the Avon lady walk funny?

Because her lips stick

What did the writer say when he glued himself to his book?

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Raise Jokes More Raise Jokes

What did Adam do when he wanted some sugar?

He raised Cain.

What's the difference between a Mexican and an elevator?

An elevator can raise a family I'll just see myself out.