Roast Beef Jokes

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Everyone can roast beef, but no one can pea soup.

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What is the difference between roast beef and pee soup?

You can roast beef.

What' the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Anyone can roast beef, but not everyone can pea soup. (As told by my 8yo, who made me laugh with a joke for the first time. Proud dad moment.)

What does the ghost like on his roast beef?

grave-y gravy

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What do you call a mother who is overweight and poor?

Beef on WIC

Why did the vegan avoid the confrontation?

He didn't want any beef.

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Why is there a strange baby in the crib?

Daughter: You told me to change the baby.

What do u call a Mexican who survives a shootout and lives to tell the tale?

The Juan who lived.

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What did you have for breakfast?

Pea Soup Q: What did you have for lunch A: Pea Soup Q: What did you have for dinner A: Pea Soup Q: What did you do all night A: Pee soup...

What is the difference between roast beef and pee soup?

You can roast beef.

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What did Santa say when he had to travel through the desert?

My chestnuts are roasting"

Why shouldn't you put a baby in the microwave?

Because you get better results from slowly roasting it in the oven.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What kind of joke do you tell to a vegetarian?

One they've never herbivore.

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?

You're too young to smoke. Sorry, it's the first joke I ever learned, and I haven't ever seen it posted.

Pea Soup Jokes More Pea Soup Jokes

What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?

You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Everyone can roast beef, but no one can pea soup.

Pea Jokes More Pea Jokes

Why did the green bean go to jail?

He was disturbing the peas.

Why did the orange move to veggieland?

So he could live in peas and hominy.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What do you get when when you mix cocaine and LSD?

Time

Why doesn't anyone ever add Paul Walker on Xbox?

He spends all of his time on the dashboard.