Beef Jokes

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Everyone can roast beef, but no one can pea soup.

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What is it called when two Vegans get into an argument?

A Beef

Why did the vegan avoid the confrontation?

He didn't want any beef.

What's the one thing pacifism and Hinduism have in common?

Those who practice them don't want any beef with people.

What do chicken, beef and Russia have in common?

They are all against Turkey

What do you call a Knight that cuts beef?

Sir Loin.

What was the beef doing as he watched the salad dressing?

Stroganoff

Why did the cheeseburger fight the veggie burger?

It had beef.

What does Chick-fil-A and their CEO have in common?

Both hate when people stick beef between two buns.

Why don't Hindu rappers have battle raps?

Because they got no beef.

What do you call beef that's been burned?

A mis-steak.

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What did the mad cow say to the other cow?

You don't want beef with me

What do you call a mother who is overweight and poor?

Beef on WIC

What did the cow say to the slaughterhouse worker?

You want some beef

What do you call a woman made out of beef?

Patty

What did the human torch say before he cooked the beef?

FILET MIGNON!**

Why is the beef in Colorado so good?

Because the steaks are high.

Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain?

A: He has got no beef.

What do you call it when you dip poultry and beef in chocolate?

Brown-chichen-Brown-cow

Who's there ! Beef ! Beef who ?

Beef fair now !

What do you call cow without a girlfriend?

Beef Stroken off

Why can't you use "Beef stew"as a password?

Because it's not stroganoff.

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What do you get when you push a cow out of a plane?

Ground beef

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef!

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What did the chopped wood say to the tree?

Run!

What do french fries and friends have in common?

They both die if you chop them

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Why did eighteen blondes go to the movies together?

A: They heard that under seventeen weren't admitted!

What do you call people with big ears?

Nothing, they might hear you

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How does a cow add and subtract?

With a cowculator.

How do cows multiply?

With cowculators!

Roast Beef Jokes More Roast Beef Jokes

What' the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Anyone can roast beef, but not everyone can pea soup. (As told by my 8yo, who made me laugh with a joke for the first time. Proud dad moment.)

What is the difference between roast beef and pee soup?

You can roast beef.

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Why Chinese vet never hungry?

Dog have rice.

Why did the Chinese man tell a joke?

Just China be funny.

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What has 16 balls and 3 pubic hairs?

A sleepover at Michael Jacksons house

What do you call 3 agnostics sitting at a bar?

I don't know.