Beef Jokes

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Everyone can roast beef, but no one can pea soup.

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What is it called when two Vegans get into an argument?

A Beef

Why did the vegan avoid the confrontation?

He didn't want any beef.

What's the one thing pacifism and Hinduism have in common?

Those who practice them don't want any beef with people.

What do chicken, beef and Russia have in common?

They are all against Turkey

What do you call a Knight that cuts beef?

Sir Loin.

What was the beef doing as he watched the salad dressing?

Stroganoff

Why did the cheeseburger fight the veggie burger?

It had beef.

What does Chick-fil-A and their CEO have in common?

Both hate when people stick beef between two buns.

Why don't Hindu rappers have battle raps?

Because they got no beef.

What do you call beef that's been burned?

A mis-steak.

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What did the mad cow say to the other cow?

You don't want beef with me

What do you call a mother who is overweight and poor?

Beef on WIC

What did the cow say to the slaughterhouse worker?

You want some beef

What do you call a woman made out of beef?

Patty

What did the human torch say before he cooked the beef?

FILET MIGNON!**

Why is the beef in Colorado so good?

Because the steaks are high.

Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain?

A: He has got no beef.

What do you call it when you dip poultry and beef in chocolate?

Brown-chichen-Brown-cow

Who's there ! Beef ! Beef who ?

Beef fair now !

What do you call cow without a girlfriend?

Beef Stroken off

Why can't you use "Beef stew"as a password?

Because it's not stroganoff.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if a hamburger was grilled in space?

It's a little meteor.

Where I from?

Please tell me.

Pea Soup Jokes More Pea Soup Jokes

What' the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Anyone can roast beef, but not everyone can pea soup. (As told by my 8yo, who made me laugh with a joke for the first time. Proud dad moment.)

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Everyone can roast beef, but no one can pea soup.

Bonus Jokes More Bonus Jokes

How do you make a Swiss Roll?

Push him down a hill. BONUS: How do you make French Wine? Invade.

What's a pirate's favourite type of weaponry?

It's ARRRtillery! bonus: A pirate's favourite melee weapon? A scimitARRR

Laugh Jokes More Laugh Jokes

Why should you never laugh at thieves in a car-accident?

It could be your car

What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?

DAM! (airplane stewardess told me and had me on ground laughing)

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What do you call a joke that includes a pun about weed?

OC High humor

Where does Khal Drogo keep his DVDs?

In Yeah you'd probably only get this if you read ASOIF but the joke came to me randomly.

Norwegian Jokes More Norwegian Jokes

How do you sink a norwegian submarine?

Swim down and knock on the hatch. (In Sweden we have a running tradition of telling jokes about stupid norwegians. They do the same about swedes)

What long and hard thing does a Norwegian wife get on her wedding night?

A last name

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What did the mexican boy say to his mom after he mopped the floors and found his brother?

I've cleaned up and found Jesus.

What is the most recycled joke that keeps getting used?

Your mom.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What do you call the day before a trip to an otolaryngologist?

New Ears Eve

How many "can't"s can a white girl "can't" before she literally can't even?

my brother asked me this when i woke up and it has been bugging me all day.