Sidewalk Jokes

What do you say to an Italian who is urinating on the sidewalk?

European!

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What's the difference between a feminist and a doormat?

You might try and knock some mud off on the sidewalk before you step on the doormat.

What did the pink panther say as he skipped down the sidewalk?

Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant dead annnnnt, deaaad ant.

Why is a banana peel on the sidewalk like music?

Because if you don't C sharp you'll B flat.

What happened when the chicken ate cement ?

She laid a sidewalk !

How would you describe your past work?

Cut to me picking up coins off sidewalks and taking them to CoinStar -Change management.

Why are you driving on the sidewalk?

Motorist: It's too dangerous on the street.

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How do you describe a blonde surrounded by drooling idiots?

A: Flattered.

How do you describe people who tell "I see dead people" jokes?

They have a sixth sense of humor

Weed Jokes More Weed Jokes

What do you call a lighter that is only used for weed?

A highlighter Edit: Or a Bud Light Courtesy of u/isnottoast

What type of weed are you allowed to smoke during Ramadan?

Tajweed

Doormat Jokes More Doormat Jokes

What is Pink and lies on the doormat?

Whitney Houston's Valentines Day Cards

How do you say doormat in Spanish?

Matador

Knock Jokes More Knock Jokes

Why does America not have knock knock jokes?

Because freedom rings.

Why don't Chinese people roll 12lb balls down wooden lanes to knock over pins?

Because to them it's boring.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between the United States and a yogurt?

That after 200 years, a yogurt can actually build a community. Haha, happy late 4th of July.

What's the difference between a thug and a phone charger?

A phone charger charges batteries, but a thug has battery charges

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

How about Epidural Anesthesia?

I was like, 'Thanks, but I already picked a name.

How did Michael Jackson pick his nose?

From a catalogue. ba dum tss

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

What's the difference between a Redditor and a brick?

The brick will eventually get laid.

Why was the Easter Egg so happy?

He just got laid by some chick!

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

Why did the bald man cut a hole in his pocket?

He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.

What do you call a paralyzed clown with his tongue cut out?

BEST MIME EVER!