Vegas Jokes

Why have no melons ever gotten married in Vegas?

Because they can't elope!

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Why couldn't the watermelon get married in Vegas?

Because his fiancee is a cantaloupe!

Why didn't the melons get married in Vegas?

Because they cantaloupe. This joke was brought to you by Dads inc.

What does Tupak Shakur have in common with Lethal Weapon 4?

Both were shot in Vegas

What's the hottest hotel in Vegas?

The Cosmopolitan

What does Tupac Shakur and Oceans 13 have in common?

They were both shot in Vegas!

Why was the rooster happy after his trip to Vegas?

He got clucky.

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Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What language does a boxer who punches jokes speak?

Punjabi-ng.

What to hear a joke?

Women's Sports.

Neck Jokes More Neck Jokes

How did the hipster break his neck?

He jump off the diving board before it was pool.

What muscle is most responsible for lateral rotation of the neck?

The gluteus maximus

Rooster Jokes More Rooster Jokes

What do you get if you cross a phone with a rooster?

A wake-up call!

What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning ?

An alarm cluck !

Deal Jokes More Deal Jokes

What do you call a drug dealing church?

Crystal Methodists

What I say: "Does anyone need anything from the store?

What I mean: "I'm off to smoke a bowl in my car so I can deal with all of you."

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

Why did the guy cut a hole in his carpet?

He wanted to watch the floor show. And why did he cover it back up ...He realized that he didn't want to watch the "hole" show.

How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

As soon as you open it, you realize it's half empty.

13 Jokes More 13 Jokes

What happened ?

Me: I turned 13....

What's the integral of 2x with the limits from 10 to 13?

A good time )

Las Vegas Jokes More Las Vegas Jokes

Why did the Dalai Lama go to Las Vegas?

Tibet

Why did the watermelon and the honeydew decide to cancel their spontaneous wedding in Las Vegas?

They realized with a family like theirs, they really Cantaloupe.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

How much did Adidas spend in advertising at the World Cup this year?

At least a brazillion dollars...

What do you call someone who spends 24 hours a day on the Internet?

Anything you like they're not listening to you anyway.