Rooster Jokes

Which came first, the Chicken or the Egg?

The Rooster

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What shoes do roosters wear?

Chickenstocks

What do you call a rooster looking at a vegetable patch?

Chicken Caesar Salad

Why doesn't a rooster wear underwear?

becuase his peckers on his head

Why did the rooster cross the road?

To show he wasn't a chicken.

What's the difference between a lawyer and an angry rooster?

The rooster clucks defiance.

Why doesn't a rooster wear pants?

Because his pecker is on his head

This joke may have profanity.

Why did the rooster get 20 years in prison?

He got caught on the internet, looking up chicks.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

A)..... The rooster clucks defiance.

Why don't Rooster's wear underwear?

Because their pecker's on their face

This joke may have profanity.

What do you call a rooster with erectile dysfunction?

Boneless chicken.

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Why are pigs such early risers?

Did you ever try to shut off a rooster

What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning ?

An alarm cluck !

Which way will it fall?

If a rooster lays an egg on a pointed roof, which way will it land Roosters don't lay eggs

Why was the rooster happy after his trip to Vegas?

He got clucky.

What did they do to the burger who thought he was a rooster?

Cook-a-doodle-do!

Why did the rooster buy mittens?

So his chicken fingers wouldn't get cold. I'll leave now

Why don't roosters wear underwear?

Their peckers are on their heads.

What's the difference between a rooster and a lawyer?

The rooster's primal urge is to cluck defiance.

Why does a rooster watch TV ?

For hentertainment !

What do you call a rooster from China?

Caucasian

How did the rooster get a lot of chicks?

A lot of good yolks!

What do you get if you cross a phone with a rooster?

A wake-up call!

What do you call two line dancers doing the dance Shoot the Rooster?

A. A Pair of Shoot (parachute)

Why did the rooster run away ?

He was chicken !

What did one cop say to the other cop while investigating a crime scene at a farm?

A rooster!

Why did the rooster cross the road?

He heard that the chickens at KFC were pretty hot.

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Land Jokes More Land Jokes

What's the difference between New York City and the Land of Mordor?

Two Towers.

What is white and hurts a homophobic man if it lands on him?

An airplane

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

How are your English lessons coming along?

Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me."

When Chris brought over his musl*m girlfriend to meet the family, what did they say?

Nice scarf! Must be cold where you came from! Do you guys want coffee?"

Internet Jokes More Internet Jokes

How do You find the worst joke of the internet?

You reddit.

What is it called when you get sick from gaming on the internet?

YouTuberculosis.

Underwear Jokes More Underwear Jokes

What do you call the underwear of someone experiencing nocturnal emissions?

Dreamcatchers

What type of underwear does a fetus wear?

Fruit of the womb.

Question Jokes More Question Jokes

What asks no question but demands an answer?

A doorbell or a ringing telephone.

What do you call a Vulcan philosopher who only responds in questions?

Spocrates.

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

How can you tell that the hippie kid got laid?

Two clean fingers.

What's a Hindu?

it lays iggs."

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between J. Winston and a cat?

One ruins girls clothes and steals crab legs, the other one is also losing the Rose Bowl.

What's the difference between Madonna and a bowling ball ?

You can only fit three fingers in the bowling ball.

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

What did they say about the guy who woke up and jerked off on his alarm clock every day?

He always came on time.

Why don't bananas snore?

Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.