Why did the watermelon and the honeydew decide to cancel their spontaneous wedding in Las Vegas?

They realized with a family like theirs, they really Cantaloupe.

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Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

Why did the scale decide that the scam artists were heavier than the novels?

Because the cons outweighed the prose.

Why "hooters"?

Who decided breasts looked like owls They were wrong.

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

What's the difference between a musician and a bag of rice?

The bag of rice can feed a family of four.

Why did I join Twitter?

Well I was sick of only being hated by coworkers and family so I wanted to branch out.

Cancel Jokes More Cancel Jokes

What can I bring to your party?

Friend: A six pack. does 10 crunches cancels

Why did they have to cancel the volleyball games in the special olympics?

It wasn't going over too well.

Cantaloupe Jokes More Cantaloupe Jokes

What do you call a pessimistic melon?

A cantaloupe

Why don't melons marry on a whim?

They cantaloupe.

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

What's worse than being stuck in traffic behind a driver that's vaping?

Realizing that your being intently watched for your reaction to their sic clouds - BEST RECOGNIZE!

Why did the janitor take early retirement?

Because he realized that grime doesn't pay.

Watermelon Jokes More Watermelon Jokes

Why do watermelons have water in Them?

Because they are planted in the spring!

Whats the difference between a watermelon and baby?

One's really fun to smash with a sledge-hammer and the other is just a watermelon

Honeydew Jokes More Honeydew Jokes

What did the watermelon say to the honeydew?

I'm sorry baby, we just cantaloupe."

Why won't the honeydew marry the watermelon?

Because they cantaloupe..

Theirs Jokes More Theirs Jokes

How can you tell when you are talking to an extroverted engineer?

They look at your feet instead of theirs.

Why do women have cleaner minds than men?

Because they change theirs more often

Las Vegas Jokes More Las Vegas Jokes

Where was I conceived, dad?

Dad: Ahh *rubs back of neck* At the Bellagio in Las Vegas. -Rly Dad: Wd I lie to u, Bestwestern Broomcloset

Why don't casinos in Las Vegas hire girls from California?

Because they, like, can't even deal.