How did Pinocchio figure out he was made of wood?

He was jacking off one day and his hand caught on fire.

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why Isn't The Media Covering This?

the media asks other media, peering into its media mirror, media-ing before a day of media in media.

What does a mathematician get from a day at the beach?

Tan lines.

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

What's little, brown, and found in the woods?

Winnies' pooh.

What wood doesn't float?

Natalie Wood.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What do you get when you cross a duck with an octopus?

Fired and blacklisted from the genetics industry.

What do you call a woman who sets all her money on fire?

Bernadette!

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

Why was the chef fired?

He was caught stroganoff

What's the best way to catch a fish?

Have someone throw it at you.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why did the man with one hand cross the road?

To get to the second-hand shop. I'll show myself out.

Why should you date a girl who is good with her hands and plays soccer?

Because she's probably a keeper.

Jack Jokes More Jack Jokes

How did Jack grow his portfolio?

He invested in beanstocks!

Why did the pirate have trouble with the alphabet?

Because his 'I' was all jacked up.

Figure Jokes More Figure Jokes

What happens when a calculus teacher with one arm can't figure out a proof?

He gets stumped.

What's so dark about blonde jokes?

They still haven't figured out how to screw in the lightbulb

Pinocchio Jokes More Pinocchio Jokes

When did Pinocchio learn he was made of wood?

when his hand caught fire!!

Why was Cinderella kicked out of Walt Disney World?

Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and told him to start telling lies.