How to raise a kid?

I injected my kid with yeast and put him in the oven for 30 minutes but he didn't rise. Any suggestions

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What's the difference between a meteor and a meteorite?

Ite. Sorry, a kid said this in elementary school and it was funny back then :)

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

one is plastic and dangerous for your kids to play with, the other holds your groceries

Rise Jokes More Rise Jokes

What makes a Mexican saddest about the rise of ebooks?

The closing of the Borders.

Why is unemployment rising in Jamaica?

Because they're jahbless!

Raise Jokes More Raise Jokes

Why did the farmer put brandy in the cow's food?

He wanted to raised stewed beef!

What do I get when I raise up a platform to play Mozart?

Amadeus on my dais.

Oven Jokes More Oven Jokes

Why did the pregnant woman love to tell jokes?

Because she had a pun in the oven!

How long do you need to put the turkey in the oven for?

Mine was dead within 30 minutes (credit goes to my Grandma)

30 Minute Jokes More 30 Minute Jokes

Why does your face look like a donut?

me 30 minutes into dieting

How long do you need to put the turkey in the oven for?

Mine was dead within 30 minutes (credit goes to my Grandma)

Inject Jokes More Inject Jokes

What do you get if you inject a baby goat with chimpanzee DNA?

Thrown out of the petting zoo.

What is a drug?

A drug is a substance which when injected into a guinea pig produces a scientific paper.

Yeast Jokes More Yeast Jokes

What would happen if you ate yeast and polish?

You would rise and shine.

What are crusty girlfriends good for?

Fermenting yeast!

Suggestion Jokes More Suggestion Jokes

What would have happened if asians had committed the attacks of 9/11?

10/11 with rice, thanks for your suggestion

Why are highly successful people named Mark always so depressed?

Because they can't stop hitting themselves. This joke came to me while I was half asleep this morning. I'm not sure how original it is. I probably heard some variation of it somewhere and have just forgotten. Any suggestions for improving it?