What are your plans for Easter?

Husband: Same as Jesus.. Wife: What do you mean Husband:I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!!

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why did Spock dump his wife?

because William Shatner I know it's old, but I love it so

How does a butcher introduce his wife to his friends?

Meet Patty"

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What's it called when Jesus walks across the street?

A cross walk

Why did Mary and Joseph's WIFI get hacked?

Because Jesus WEPt.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What Chinese name means 'wolf'?

Hau Ling.

What does the new socialist leader of France mean for the country, Europe, and the world?

Nationalized wine.. Sounds like the right wing will have some whine too.

Plan Jokes More Plan Jokes

What did one architect say to the other?

I see the floor in your plan."

Why did the king have his landscaper hanged?

For planning high trees, son.

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

What's a woman who always knows where her husband is?

A widow.

What do you want your husbands gravestone to say?

Wife: "Nothing. I want a traditional, non-talking one."

Disappear Jokes More Disappear Jokes

What happened to Mr. Chin after all 10 of his children disappeared?

He developed a ten Chin deficit disorder.

Whenever I'm in trouble, I think: what would Jesus do?

Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for three days.

Friday Jokes More Friday Jokes

What happened when the two lovers were watching a scary movie in a year when Valentine's day happened to fall on Friday the 13th?

Oh wait, nevermind. I'm an idiot...*

Why do they call the day after Thanksgiving "Black Friday"?

Because everything is a steal.

Monday Jokes More Monday Jokes

How long have you been in pain?

Women: It started at 7:45am on Monday while I was at work Men: Sometime between yesterday and 1997

Why can't you lift weights on Monday?

It's a week day.

Easter Jokes More Easter Jokes

What will the Easter Bunny be doing after Easter?

One to three for breaking and entering.

Why didn't the Marshmallow Peep cross the road on Easter?

Because it was a little chicken.