What kind of tools do I need to make a cake?

Him: The fact that you're calling ingredients tools means u shouldnt be in charge of this.

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Whats the difference between a retard and a woman?

The retard doesn't need to be buggered to think he's special.

How many cops do you need to change a light bulb?

None. They just shoot the room for being black. Credit: donator on some stream said the joke and just wanted to share it.

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

What should you do when a bull charges you?

Pay him

What was the condiment stand charged with?

with a deadly weapon.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

Why is it worse this time around?

Thermal cameras mean I can't save anyone by hiding them in my roof.

What do you mean you were really drunk?

I already changed my Facebook relationship status for you.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of underwear do the GI Joes wear?

None, they go commando.

What kind of light makes the best US president?

A blinkin' light

Fact Jokes More Fact Jokes

How can I draw attention to the fact this skirt is too long?

AHEM!

Why are vegans so salty?

To hide the fact that their food has no flavor.

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

What did carbon yell at gold while trying to get his attention?

A! U!!! If it doesn't make sense tell it so someone out loud. Pretty sure this is my first original joke :)

What u doing?

Math, it's due Friday" *I slowly crumple the paper and put it in my mouth* They'll never believe u

Cake Jokes More Cake Jokes

What did the cake say to the Pie?

That's sweet, ain't it?"

Who's there ! Chrysalis ! Chrysalis who ?

Chrysalis the cake for you !

Tool Jokes More Tool Jokes

Why does no one like the swiss army?

Because they are all a bunch of tools.

What monsters are all the tools in the toolbox afraid of?

Vampliers