45 Jokes

What do you get when 42 goes into 45?

Chelsea.

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5.0

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What's the difference between the charismatics and the nacists?

What is 32% black, 45% white... ...gets lit up and changes to blue and red at night?

Chicago.

Why are your eyes dilated?

Me: "Your eyes dilate up to 45% when you look at something you love" Mom: "What were you looking at " Me: "Memes"

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Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

What do you call a girl with no legs?

Disabled.

Why was the girl with the Frozen balloon sad?

Because she...let it go!

Boyfriend Jokes More Boyfriend Jokes

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?

Because those men already have boyfriends.

What did the girlfriend say to her boyfriend that was bitten by a zombie?

You're dead to me"

Prefer Jokes More Prefer Jokes

Why do differentiating mathematicians prefer Manhattans to Mojitos?

Ryes over rum.

When you guys describe me to your families do you use the word tigress?

I'd prefer if you included tigress

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

Why did the janitor take early retirement?

Because he realized that grime doesn't pay.

What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You have to repost the joke twice before she realizes that it isn't funny anymore

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a Pokemon Go player and a Facebook user??

Pokemon Go players are only wasting their own time )

What's the difference between a teacher and a train?

One says, "Spit out your gum!" The other goes, "Choo Choo Choo"

Cost Jokes More Cost Jokes

How much does it cost a pirate to get his ear pierced?

A buccaneer.

What does it cost a pirate to get his ear pierced?

about a Buccaneer (buck-an-ear) yuck...yuck...yuck

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the difference between this morning and your wife?

I'm not coming in *this morning*"

Why did John keep on finding cracker crumbs in his bed?

His wife didn't know any decent crackers.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What "c word" describes my girlfriend and why I'm not getting any?

Carpaltunnel

What's the difference between my guitar and my girlfriend?

My guitar doesn't yell at me when I snap it's g-string