Achieve Jokes

What do Ted Cruz and an impotent Japanese man have in common?

Neither can achieve an election

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How do Communists achieve a revolution every single year?

They planet!

Why couldn't the effective vitamin supplement achieve true happiness?

He was too super fish oil.

What do they tell Soviet children who want to achieve their dreams?

Shoot for the Tsars.

Why did the Senator get on Viagara?

He wanted to achieve erection reform.

What's the best part about being cremated?

Finally achieving a smokin' hot body.

What's the difference between Hillary and Eva Braun?

One achieved fame and significance solely because she was married to a charismatic politician. The other was Hilter's wife.

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Tsar Jokes More Tsar Jokes

What was the Tsar of Russia's favorite fish ?

Tsardines !

Why did the dyslexic, Russian astronomer hate the revolution?

He was following the Tsar.

Election Jokes More Election Jokes

How do people in Iowa get elections?

By watching corn!

Why doesn't Japan have elections?

I dunno but it's probably the reason for their low birth rates.

Reach Jokes More Reach Jokes

How did the mathematician reach the end of the Y-axis?

On a plane.

What do North Korean weapons and T-Rex's have in common?

They both can't reach really far.

Cremate Jokes More Cremate Jokes

Why did the man with bronchitis get cremated..?

he was tired of coffin.

What did the cremated Buddha who was placed in a cardboard box say?

I'm in light urn.'

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons ?

Because they didn't want to wait 40 years for a train !

What's the difference between a man and a woman?

A woman wants a man who can satisfy all her needs. A man wants all women who can satisfy his needs.

Hilter Jokes More Hilter Jokes

What do you get when you cross Hilter, the Terminator, and Cthulhu?

Don't stick around to find out!

What does Hilter get when he's scared?

The hebrewgeebies

Japanese Jokes More Japanese Jokes

What do the Japanese call a large apartment?

An itssoroomy.

What do you call a Pho restaurant run by 9 Japanese chefs?

Pho Kyuu EDIT: No one understands how to pronounce "Pho". ;;

Ted Cruz Jokes More Ted Cruz Jokes

Why are there no pictures of Ted Cruz holding a baby?

They always turn out blurry from him shaking them.

What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Ted Cruz?

Heidi cannot swing a golf club.