Purchase Jokes

What did the obese man say about the belt he'd recently purchased?

Top notch.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

Where do ISIS fighters go to purchase soda and candy?

Allahu snackbar!

How is food purchased an an Irish grocery?

You buy it per-tater

Why did the bachelors purchase double amputee strippers for their party?

Because they were 50% off!

What does Harry Potter say after he purchases slaves?

I expect to Potter-own 'em.

Where do Turkish people go to purchase their furniture?

The Ottoman Empire.

What did the duck say to the cashier after she purchased some lipstick?

Just put it on my bill"

What car is so cheap that anyone could purchase it?

A Ford.

What do you call the study of the purchase of tree parts?

A: Stem sell research.

What did the photocopier say about its favorite purchased song?

That's my pay-per jam.

Why didn't the vampire purchase the expensive suit?

He just couldn't ever see himself wearing it.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Coffee Mug

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Soda Jokes More Soda Jokes

What do you call it when you drown a baby in soda?

Infantacide

Why did the can-crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda pressing.

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

Why did the woman turn to her husband and say "now who the hell would dump such a nice sofa out here in the woods?

She was looking at a bear and thought it was a sofa due to the four legs.

What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

Cancer.

Bachelor Jokes More Bachelor Jokes

Why do bachelors like smart women?

Because they're so rare.

Why did the bachelors purchase double amputee strippers for their party?

Because they were 50% off!

Organisation Jokes More Organisation Jokes

What kind of organisation is Atheism?

A non-prophet organisation.

Who in the organisation likes cats the most?

The purchaser.

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

Which vampire ate the three bears' porridge?

Ghouldilocks.

What must a vampire earn to learn to fly?

His red wings.

Harry Potter Jokes More Harry Potter Jokes

How did Harry Potter get down the hill?

By walking...... JK Rowling

How does Harry Potter travel about?

Walking -Jk Rolling

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of tie does a pig wear ?

Pig's tie !

What kind of nuts go on your feet?

Cashews.

Party Jokes More Party Jokes

What does a German call a party without Sausage and Cheese?

A Wurst-Kse Scenario

Why did the dislocated finger leave the party?

He felt really out of place.