Beaker Jokes

Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?

He touched the beaker before it was cool.

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Why were the Beakers all packed and moved out of the university lab?

They were graduated

What did the douchebag say to the chemist when he dropped his beaker?

U mad scientist?

Who's the most self-centered Muppet?

Beaker. All he says is "Me Me Me."

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Pack Jokes More Pack Jokes

What do you call a pack of 8 Timbits?

A Timbyte

Why did the cosmonaut forget to pack extra underwear?

Because he was Russian.

Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

What's Jared Fogle's favorite time of day?

When the big hand touches the little one

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a Disney movie?

Disney movies can still touch little kids.

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

They don't change it. They just watch it burn out, then follow it around for another 15 years.

How do you best serve burned food?

Coal'd.

Center Jokes More Center Jokes

Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?

Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.

How many roundhouse kicks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

Just one. From Chuck Norris.

Douchebag Jokes More Douchebag Jokes

How do you catch a Douchebag?

JerkBait.

How to spot a douchebag in the gym?

Really bad so he hurts himself.

Graduate Jokes More Graduate Jokes

What do you call a blonde in the freezer?

Her parents named her Cindy so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.

What do you call a Native American who graduated from medical school?

A doctor you racist

Chemist Jokes More Chemist Jokes

What did the chemist say when hr found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe

Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium 'the medical elements'?

Because, if you can't 'helium' or 'curium', you 'BARIUM'!

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

What's a word that starts with "u" and ends with "w"?

Cloning.

Why don't u share a bed?

cried Baby Bear.