Christopher Walken Jokes

What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?

Christopher Walken

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Why is Christopher Walken so tired?

Because at night, he's always sleepwalken

How do you know you've found Christopher Walken's house?

It has a recognizable gait

What do you call Christopher Walken when he is sitting?

Christopher Sitten

What do you call Christopher Reeve before the accident?

Christopher Walken.

What is the opposite of Christopher Reeve?

Sorry if you've heard this) Christopher Walken

What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?

Christopher Walken. (Not sure if it's a repost, but I don't think I've seen it posted here.)

Where does Christopher Walken like to smoke cigars?

A Walken humidor.

Who does Christopher Reeve wish he could be?

Christopher Walken

Who's faster than Christopher Walken?

Christopher Runnen Who's slower Christopher Crawlen

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What is a Farmer's favorite pick-up line?

Girl. You look so good that I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of y'all!

What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common?

In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why didn't the man go under the boardwalk?

He doesn't like giving in to pier pressure.

When does Sean Connery like to show up at Wimbeldon?

Tennish.

Boot Jokes More Boot Jokes

What did the shoemaker say about actor Christopher's custom-made footwear?

These Boots Are Made For Walken.....

What are the best clothes to wear to the dance club?

Boots and pants and boots and pants and boots and pants...

Accident Jokes More Accident Jokes

What do you think you're doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour?

Driver: My brakes don't work so I was rushing home before I had an accident.

How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?

A: Be too drunk to find your keys.

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

How did they manage to smoke?

They threw a cigarette overboard, and made the boat a cigarette lighter

What is the difference between dragons and dinosaurs?

Dinosaurs aren't old enough to smoke. Told to me by my niece at christmas.

Cigar Jokes More Cigar Jokes

What did the disappointed smoker get for Christmas?

Clothes but no cigar...

Where does Christopher Walken like to smoke cigars?

A Walken humidor.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What did the dog say when he sat on sand paper?

Ruff

What sits at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A drowning epileptic.

Christopher Jokes More Christopher Jokes

Where does Christopher keep his dance shoes?

In the Walken closet.

Why was christopher never in the same place?

Because he's always Walken