Clause Jokes

What's the difference between a semicolon and a cat?

One has a pause at the end of it's clause, the other has claws at the end of it's paws.

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Where did Santa meet his wife?

Conjunction junction, they specialize in hooking up words, phrases, and Clauses

Why was Mrs. Clause's stocking full on December 21st?

Because Santa came early this year.

What is the difference between cats and commas?

This might be better suited for but I think its more a joke Cats have claws at the ends of it's paws commas haves pauses at the ends of its clause.

Who corrects Santa's grammar?

A subordinate Clause.

What do you call Santa without toys?

A lost Clause

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Paw Jokes More Paw Jokes

What does a girl from Arkansas say when she loses her virginity?

Get off me paw, you're crushing my smokes."

What did the cat say when he lost all his money ?

I'm paw !

Mrs. Claus Jokes More Mrs. Claus Jokes

What does Santa call it when Mrs. Claus gives him road head?

Getting sleighed.

What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa as they were looking out their front window?

Looks like rein dear"

Specialize Jokes More Specialize Jokes

What do you call the corner of the market that specializes in philosophy?

A Nietzsche market!

What do you call an Italian mobster who specializes in cold coffee drinks?

Al Frap-Pacino

Reindeer Jokes More Reindeer Jokes

What do you call a reindeer trapped in a storm?

A Thundeer

What's the difference between a reindeer and a snowball?

They're both brown except the snowball.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why are we watching a live internet stream of men exiting a hole?

Isn't this using the internet backwards

How many Police Officers does it take to handcuff one man?

Nine, Eight to shoot him and one to say he was very dangerous

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot ?

A carrot !

What's the unluckiest kind of cat to have ?

A catastrophe !

Santa Clause Jokes More Santa Clause Jokes

What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause?

With Santa it is only three hoes and he's done.

Why can Saint Nicolas never be prosecuted?

Because of the Santa Clause

Beard Jokes More Beard Jokes

Why does Sean Connery have no money and a beard?

Because he's no good at shaving.

What's the difference between extremist and /r/thedonald?

At least one group can grow a beard.