Collapse Jokes

What did the Mexican say when his house collapsed on him?

Hey, get off me homes !

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What do you call it when a sewer collapses on itself?

Sewercide

Where does it hurt?

Me: *Points to heart* Nurse: Awwww that is so cute! Me. *COLLAPSES FROM HEART ATTACK*

What did the engineer say to the bridge after it had collapsed?

I trussed you.

Why did it take so long to find the bodies of the black firefighters after the building they were in caught fire and collapsed?

Cause the building collapsed, duh.

When did your parents divorce?

ME: No, they were hoarders, and the second floor collapsed.

What do you get if you cross a spider and an elephant ?

I'm not sure but if you see one walking across the ceiling then run before it collapses !

What did Gorbachev say when the USSR collapsed?

So ve it."

What would George Washington do if he was alive today?

Probably get suffocated in his collapsed coffin

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Why did the dolphin run away from home to start a new life?

He felt he had lost his sense of porpoise.

Where does a burger feel at home?

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Why can't an IT guy be a doctor?

Nurse: Doctor, the patient's life support is acting strange. . . Doctor: Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Why did the nurse always insist on using the rectal thermometer to obtain temperatures?

Because nurses are taught in nursing school to always look for her patient's best side.

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What do you call a spider that likes 80s music?

A Durantula.

What do you call a Spider-man that is a valet?

A Peter Parker

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What's wrong with them?

his boss asks. "I just can't see myself coming to work today."

What is the date in Germany/Brasil today?

7-1. (world cup)

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What does an Asian with the biggest erection get when he walks into a wall?

A broken nose.

How many retweets to let me take your sister to prom?

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What's George Washington's favorite element?

Americium-1776

What did George Washington Abraham Lincoln and Christopher Columbus all have in common?

They were all born on holidays."

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

Why is your shirt on wrong?

Daughter: I think you old people call it: "second base"

What is the best place to hide a dead body?

On the second page of google.