Crime Rate Jokes

How do you lower the crime rate?

Give the criminals badges.

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Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What's the only thing that grows in Oakland?

A: The Crime Rate!

Why are crime rates down in the US?

Because criminals keep turning themselves into police.

What's the only thing that grows in Ferguson?

The crime rate.

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What's the one thing missing from the offensive jokes on r/jokes?

Karma, Whores.

What's the last thing someone wants to hear while blowing Willie Nelson?

I'm not Willie Nelson."

Ferguson Jokes More Ferguson Jokes

Who burns their own city down?

The people of Ferguson.

Why did the Ferguson protesters go home early last night?

The whole thing was a gas.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

How many Australians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they all turn them the the wrong way.

Why did the elephant turn around in the airport and go home?

He forgot to pack his trunk.

Police Jokes More Police Jokes

Why did Darth Vader get suspended from the Police?

He was under investigation for excessive use of Force

What do driving and dating have in common?

Both end up with you being chased by the police if you go too fast.

Lower Jokes More Lower Jokes

What happened at the funeral of the man who invented the USB?

They lowered his coffin, took it out, flipped it the other way round, then lowered it again.

How do you lower the crime rate?

Give the criminals badges.

Criminal Jokes More Criminal Jokes

What do you call a criminal that cant see?

A macular degenerate.

Why are black crimes hard to solve?

Because they're all criminals and they look the same.

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

What grows when you squeeze it, explodes if you rub it too hard, and children love it?

A balloon animal!

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One because his knee grows.