December 25th Jokes

Why isn't the holiday on December 25th pronounced "Chlistmas"?

Because there's no L.

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What happens to all the unsold christmas trees?

A Total TreeCull. Basically, on the evening of December 25th, every christmas tree salesperson does the trees

What does a gang say on December 25th?

Merry Crips-mas

Why did Kim Jong-il die a week before December 25th?

Because Rudolph is the only deer leader at Christmas.

What did the ghost say on December 25th?

A: Scary Christmas!

What do white girls celebrate on December 25th?

ChristMAAAAAAAAAS

What did the strawberry say on December 25th?

Berry Christmas!

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What did Kim Jong Il call his Kindle?

The Dear Reader.

What would Kim Jong-Il be doing if he was still alive today?

Scratching at the lid of his coffin.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and mistletoe?

I don't hang mistletoe at Christmas time

What did David Bowie want for Christmas?

Carrie Fisher.

Berry Jokes More Berry Jokes

What do you do to a dead fruit?

You *berry* it.

What do you call a berry with a sore throat?

A raspberry!

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What is a lesbians favorite day of the week?

Tuesday

What is the dirtiest day of the week?

SaTURDay

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How do you pronounce the "Pao" in "Power'?

deleted

What's the difference between a Chemist and a Plumber?

The way they pronounce "unionized"

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Who is going to die in the new Star Wars?

Some Stormtrooper

What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster?

I'M BREADY TO DIE"

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What happens to eskimos who sit on the ice too long?

Polaroids! I'm so bored...

What happens when a feminist shoots a gun?

The gun gets triggered.

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How did the programmer celebrate his birthday?

var celebration = "Hip", "Hip";

How is Halloween celebrated in Kentucky?

pumpkin