Pronounce Jokes

Why isn't the holiday on December 25th pronounced "Chlistmas"?

Because there's no L.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

Why is it so hard to pronounce words in Welsh?

It is the language of Wales.

How do Jamaicans pronounce bacon?

The same way British people pronounce beer can.

How can you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

You ask them to pronounce unionize.

What do you have left after you burn a French alphabet?

H Edit: I don't like explaining jokes but since the first guy didn't get I might as well: When pronounced in a French accent it sounds like ash.

How to tell if someone has Rhotacism?

Ask them to pronounce it.

How do you tell the difference between a Fabric Designer and a Science Professor?

Ask them to pronounce "LATEX"

Why don't black people like pirates?

they pronounce everything with a hard "aargh"

Why isn't there democracy in North Korea?

Because everytime they try to pronounce "election" everyone starts to giggle

How do you tell the difference between an electrician and an electrical engineer?

Ask them to pronounce the word, "unionized".

What's the difference between a plumber and a scientist?

Pronounce this word: unionized

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

Why are there exactly two hundred and thirty nine beans in an Irish Bean Soup?

Because if there were one more, it'd be two forty. (Too farty) This works much better when spoken out loud. The joke how Irish people pronounce "forty."

What's a pirate's favorite workout program?

Pirates (pronounced like pilates)

What's the proper way to pronounce Mormon?

The second m is silent.

What are Mario's overalls made of?

denim denim denim (pronounced with the Mario underground theme)

What did the hippy say when he was told to get off the couch and get a job?

Namaste (pronounced:nah I'ma stay)

When it's a legal matter, it's pronounced o-FENCE. When it's sports, it's pronounced OFF-ence. Climbing... ?

A fence.

Why did Steve Harvey announce Miss Colombia as the Miss Universe winner?

Because he couldn't pronounce Miss Philippines.

How can you tell if a person works in HR or IT?

Ask them to pronounce the following: **HIRES**

What do you call a Pho restaurant run by 9 Japanese chefs?

Pho Kyuu EDIT: No one understands how to pronounce "Pho". ;;

What do you call cantaloupe flavored gum?

A: A Ty-lemma (pronounced like dilemma)

Why's the ch pronounced differently in orchid than in orchard?

ROBOT: twitch, spark

Why don't British people pronounce their T's?

Because they're all in the Boston harbor."

What is your reason for divorce?

She pronounces 'Kansas' like the second part of 'Arkansas'

What's the difference between a Chemist and a Plumber?

The way they pronounce "unionized"

How do you pronounce the capital of Kentucky, Loo-e-ville or Loo-is-ville?

I pronounce it Frankfort.

How do you pronounce the "Pao" in "Power'?

deleted

How do you pronounce "nihilism?

It doesn't matter

Why isn't the word gangster pronounced Jang-ster?

Because there ain't no such thing as a soft 'G.'

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Chemist Jokes More Chemist Jokes

Why did the chemist join the Pentecostal church?

He wanted to speak in tungsten.

How can you tell a chemist from a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

Bacon Jokes More Bacon Jokes

What do you call a policeman on fire?

Bacon.

Whats green, three inches long and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs middle finger.

Holiday Jokes More Holiday Jokes

Where do Koalas love to go for a holiday?

Koala Lumpur.

Why couldn't the whistle blower make it home for the holidays?

he was snowden

Capital Jokes More Capital Jokes

Where is the CAPITAL of out COUNTRY?

Student -"in Swiss Banks".. :P :D lolx

What's the capital of Honduras?

HER: um... ME:writing bad at geo-

H Jokes More H Jokes

What Did H Say 2 O?

Water you doing

Where'd you get those shoes?

Me:"I've had these for years. Is that a new grill I saw " H:"Nope just cleaned the old one" *Marriage lies

Language Jokes More Language Jokes

What language do bees speak?

The beesnese

What language does a boxer who punches jokes speak?

Punjabi-ng.

People Jokes More People Jokes

How can you know that you are insecure about what other people think of your post?

deleted

What happens to crude people?

Crucified.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why the story tells that Cindarella was at the ball?

Because the censor erased the letter "s".

How do you get a blonde to marry you?

Tell her she's pregnant.