Dum Jokes

What does Pontiac stand for?

Poor, Old, Niagga, Thinks, It's, A, Cadillac. Ba dum tssss

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How does R.Kelly end a joke?

Ba dum

What do you do when a scientist dies?

You barium! ba-dum-tss

What's the difference between Batman, and a black man?

Batman can go out at night without Robin. Ba-Dum-Tis!!!!!!!

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Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

Who are all these people Twitter wants me to follow?

Has the fail whale been stalking me. Help, stranger danger!

What do Twitter users and regular humans have in common?

Both start off as eggs.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

How many mottophobics does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Who do you think broke the filament in the first place

What did the little cloud say about the big cloud?

I think you're condensating for something.

Cadillac Jokes More Cadillac Jokes

What do you call a Cadillac with a staircase on the back?

An escalador.

Why is it a tragedy?

Because a Cadillac sits six.

Casket Jokes More Casket Jokes

What did the casket say to the sick casket?

Are you coffin

What's something that the inventor doesn't want, the buyer doesn't use, and the user doesn't know about it?

A casket

Bovine Jokes More Bovine Jokes

What do you call a bovine that won't leave Egypt?

MOO-barak!

How do bovines do math?

They use a cow-culator! Ba-dum-tsss!

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What would Michael Jackson be doing if he were alive right now?

Probably clawing at the inside of his coffin.

What would Hellen Keller be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the lid of the coffin.

Stone Jokes More Stone Jokes

What's the difference between a drunk driver, and a stoned driver?

The drunk driver will drive right through a stop sign. The stoned driver will stop and wait for it to turn green.

What do women in the Middle East and Millennials have in common?

If they go to college, they'll probably get stoned.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the old man buy his wig at the thrift store?

Because he didn't want toupee.

What food should you avoid if you don't want to go to court?

Sue-shi! I'll excuse myself.