Rid Jokes

How does a mathematician get rid of constipation?

He works it out with a pencil.

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Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?

All they said was, Bach, Bach, Bach

How did the grandpa get rid of his sweet tooth?

He took out his dentures!

How to you get rid of the dandelions on your lawn?

Paint one of them black the others will move away.

Why did Loki want the tesseract?

to get rid of his tesserection

How do you get rid of a Reddit admin?

Chooter

How do you get rid of chewing gum in your hair?

Cancer :)

Why did Caitlyn Jenner have a differently spelled version of Caitlin?

Because she can't get rid of the Y chromosome

How do you get rid of pubic lice?

Seriously, it is not a joke. I really want to know.

How do cops get rid of flies?

They call in a S.W.A.T. team

How do you get rid of an obese demon?

You exercise it.

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What's the difference between a kid and a cat?

Who has the diploma when you get rid of them.

How do you get rid of an itch?

Start from scratch.

How do you get rid of somebody?

Give them a ticket for a flight on Malaysian Airlines and hope that they will live up to their reputation!

What happened when Canada got rid of the penny?

Canadians became *penniless*

What the hell are you doing?

America: Getting rid of u

Why are oil miners and police men mortal enemies?

One brings black stuff and the other gets rid of it

Why did Katie Holmes get rid of her fancy car?

She got tired of all that Cruise control.

Why did ginny make harry get rid of his invisibility cloak?

He kept coming out of no where

How can one get rid of the echo while playing a movie?

Get some furniture

What's the best kind of cream... ...to get rid of spots and bug bites?

Creamation.

What do you get if you cross a skunk with a boomerang?

A: A nasty smell that you can't get rid of.

What shape gets rid of curses?

A hexagon

What do you do to get rid of an obese demon?

You exorcise him.

How do we get rid of Ebola?

Put all the infected on a Malaysian Airplane

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why is working at Amazon warehouse like being a coke addict?

You spend 10 hours a day doing nothing but clearing lines.

What do you call a Mexican working at Tim Hortons?

a Filipino

Diploma Jokes More Diploma Jokes

What's the difference between a kid and a cat?

Who has the diploma when you get rid of them.

What do you call a 6 feet tall circle that recently got his diploma from college?

A Graduated cylinder.

Hair Jokes More Hair Jokes

What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brown?

AI (Artificial Intelligence)

What side of a monster has more hair ?

The outside !

Bach Jokes More Bach Jokes

What did Schwarzenegger say when deciding which composer to be for Halloween?

I'll be Bach.

Why did Beethoven hate Mozart?

Because Mozart stabbed him in the Bach.

Chooter Jokes More Chooter Jokes

What would a reddit restaurant be called?

Chooters

How do you get rid of a Reddit admin?

Chooter

Cop Jokes More Cop Jokes

What did the doughnut say to the cop?

Don't glaze me, bro

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Depends on how many cops planted it there

Cancer Jokes More Cancer Jokes

What type of cancer is an anarchist immune to?

Prostate

What did the guy with no arms and no legs get for christmas?

Cancer.

Chicken Jokes More Chicken Jokes

Why did the chicken run into a well?

Because it didn't see that well.

How do you walk a chicken on a leash?

You pullet.