Handyman Jokes

How did the handyman feel after going to the bar?

He was hammered.

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What does the handyman who has no legs wear on his head?

The handycap.

What did the handyman do... when he got his girlfriend in bed with him for the first time?

He screwed, nutted, and bolted.

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Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What do you call a man with a car on his head?

Jack

How about a private dance "Okay let's go" *heads to private room* "You ready?

Oh hell yeah *we both do the cha cha slide*

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

Why did a seal go to the bar?

Because he didn't want to go clubbing.

Why did the black man walk into a bar?

Because the cell door was still locked.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

What have Disney and the U.K. got in common?

Both dropped the EU And screwed over a lot of people

How many Avengers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. Ant-Man and Wasp are the only ones small enough to fit inside a lightbulb.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What type of overalls did Mario wear?

Denim Denim Denim......

Why couldn't the traffic light get a date?

She was wearing no turn on red. :

Hammer Jokes More Hammer Jokes

How do you install "blackout curtains"?

They just get hammered.

How did the handyman feel after going to the bar?

He was hammered.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What do you call a symphony where everyone plays at the same time instead of taking turns?

An chestra.

What do you call a prehistoric humanoid who likes to take his time?

A meander-thal!

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

What do you call feeling bad about watching lame reality TV shows?

Survivor guilt.

Why can't zombies play the blues?

Just feels like they don't put their soul in to it.

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What has four legs and is always ready to travel?

A zebra with a private jet.

What has four legs and several fins?

A: A happy bear!