Height Jokes

What do you call a bird that's afraid of heights?

A chicken

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What is the volume of a disk with radius z and height a?

Pi * z * z * a

What do you call an Ape that's afraid of heights?

A chimp-pansy. This is my go to primatology joke.

Why do Apes like tall buildings?

They want to climb the heights of the business world!

How can you tell if a cat is blonde?

A: No matter what height you drop it from it always lands on its head.

What is the volume of pizza?

Pizza of course! If z = radius of the pizza and a = the height then * radius2 * height = Pi * z * z * a = Pizza.

What is the height of honesty?

A: A pregnant lady takes one and a half ticket in the bus Q: What is the height of dishonesty A: She gives birth to twins

Why did the the acrophobe pothead start screaming?

She's afraid of heights.

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Head Jokes More Head Jokes

Why did Kennedy throw his head back?

He was taking a shot.

What do you call a man with a spade on his head?

Doug Got a set of tweezers as the toy as well. Hours of fun right there.

Ottoman Empire Jokes More Ottoman Empire Jokes

What's the difference between the inverse of sec(o) and the smallest region in the former Ottoman Empire?

One is cos(o), the other is Kosovo

Where do Turkish people go to purchase their furniture?

The Ottoman Empire.

Peter Jokes More Peter Jokes

What did Jesus say to Peter?

Hebrew

Why is Wendy never pregnant?

Because Peter's sperm Neverlands.

Short People Jokes More Short People Jokes

Why can't short people cook?

Because the steaks are too high.

Who were the shortest people in the Bible?

Let's see. There'sKneehighmiah, Bildad the Shoe-Height...oh, and Peter, who said, "Silver andgold I have none," and no one could be much shorter than that.

Pi Jokes More Pi Jokes

What is a mathematician's favorite food?

A slice of Pi.

What did the number 1 say to (pi)?

Let's get rational you can't carry on like this!

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

Why did the pig walk into the kitchen?

Because he felt like bacon. :P

What did the walking staff say when accused of misleading sheep?

I am not a crook!"

Stack Jokes More Stack Jokes

How does a orphan change a light bulb?

They grab the stack of un-signed adoption papers, stand on top of them, then proceed to change the light bulb.

Why did the Ottoman empire collapse?

Once your stack of Ottomans gets to a certain height it will fall over.

Coast Guard Jokes More Coast Guard Jokes

Why does the Coast Guard have ultraviolet lights?

To help them find missing sea men.

Why couldn't the Coast Guard save the hippie?

Because he was wayyy far out man.