Install Jokes

What do Microsoft updates and Brock Turner have in common?

They install at night, while you are asleep, without consent.

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How do you install "blackout curtains"?

They just get hammered.

Why does the French Army install Rear-view mirrors in their Tanks?

So that they can see the battle.

Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?

He wanted to win the No Bell Prize.

What's the first thing you install on a new computer?

The operating system

Why did the tree install solar panels?

It wanted to be a power plant.

Why don't men install urinals in their houses?

Their wives just wouldn't stand for it :)

Why do Mexicans always install those tiny steering wheels in their cars?

So they can drive with the handcuffs on.

How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years

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Redditor Jokes More Redditor Jokes

How many redditors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but an extra 15 to repost.

How can you tell if a Redditor is European?

Don't worry, he'll tell you

Baghdad Jokes More Baghdad Jokes

What did they say about Baghdad after they installed too many garbage cans?

It was Bin Laden

What do you call a spider from Baghdad?

An Iraqnid.

Operate Jokes More Operate Jokes

What's the first thing you install on a new computer?

The operating system

How many FIFA officials does it take to change a light bulb?

None**. They operate in the **dark**.

Urinal Jokes More Urinal Jokes

Why do so many guys spit in urinals?

Just seems weird that there are that many dudes who salivate at the sight of a wiener.

How do you keep men on their toes?

Raise the urinals

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why does the dog go to the gym?

He wants to get ruff

Why did the astronomer hit himself on the head in the afternoon?

He wanted to see stars during the day.

Operating System Jokes More Operating System Jokes

What's the first thing you install on a new computer?

The operating system

What operating system does Varys have on his computer?

Unix

Hammer Jokes More Hammer Jokes

What happens when a carpenter drinks with his wife?

He gets hammered and she gets nailed.

Why would you take a hammer to bed?

A: So you could hit the sack.

Groove Jokes More Groove Jokes

How do you tell if a lesbian installed your flooring?

It's all tongue and groove.

How do know a job's been done by a lesbian carpenter?

There are no nails, and no screws, it's all tongue and groove!