John Lennon Jokes

What is John Lennon's favourite donut?

Strawberry Filled forever!

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Why did John Lennon get shot?

because Mark Chapman was a terrible shot, and kept missing Yoko.

Why was John Lennon so ashy?

Because he was cremated

Why was John Lennon shocked when he got his wife's gynecologist bill?

He had misunderstood the doctor when he said "I do probe Ono."

What did John Lennon say when he got egg shells in his cake?

Yolko Oh-no

What do Kodak film and John Lennon have in common?

They both came in a yellow box

What was John Lennons final hit?

The pavement

What if it all goes wrong and they clone millions of John Lennons?

Imagine all the people..

What's John Lennon's favorite card game?

Yoko Uno

How did John Lennon like his Pop Tarts?

Strawberry filled forever.

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Shock Jokes More Shock Jokes

Who's there ! Alec ! Alec who ?

Alec-tricity. Isn't that a shock !

What do you get if you cross a bottle of water with an electric eel?

A bit of a shock really!

Cremate Jokes More Cremate Jokes

Why did the blonde feminist want to be cremated when she died?

She thought a traditional burial would be too bio-degrading.

What did the masterbating Australian mortician do?

Cremate

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What did the collard green do when his favorite song came on the radio?

He got turnip

Why didn't Kevin from Home Alone call the cops when the burglars came around?

He was running a trap house.

Yellow Box Jokes More Yellow Box Jokes

What's square-shaped and yellow?

A yellow box

What do Kodak film and John Lennon have in common?

They both came in a yellow box

Stra Wberry Jokes More Stra Wberry Jokes

What did the strawberry say on December 25th?

Berry Christmas!

How do you describe Neapolitan ice cream to someone?

Your two favorite flavors plus strawberry

Pavement Jokes More Pavement Jokes

When a 16-inch viola and a 17-inch viola are dropped simultaneously from a 30-story building which one hits the pavement first?

A: Who cares!

What did the pavement smoother say after he lost his hands?

I literally can't even."

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What happens when a feminist shoots a gun?

The gun gets triggered.

What job pays you to shoot people but not harm them?

A photographer.

Imagine Jokes More Imagine Jokes

What is it called when a woman can't imagine having kids?

Inconceivable.

Why couldn't Cauchy lose any weight?

Because every time he saw a street pole he imagined two pies.