Shock Jokes

How many clickbait articles does it take to change a lightbulb?

The answer may shock you.

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How can you attract a group of like minded friends?

This clique bait will shock you!

What's a prison executioners favorite beer?

Shock-top

Why was John Lennon shocked when he got his wife's gynecologist bill?

He had misunderstood the doctor when he said "I do probe Ono."

How do you feel?

Asks the fluoride ion. "Positively shell shocked" the sodium ion replied.

What do you get if you cross a bottle of water with an electric eel?

A bit of a shock really!

Why do you wanna work at Clickbait Enterprises?

Here's 10 reasons why I should get the job "ok" Number 7 will shock you "You're hired"

Who's there ! Alec ! Alec who ?

Alec-tricity. Isn't that a shock !

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Bacteria Jokes More Bacteria Jokes

What happens to a bacteria when he travels from his home colony to another?

He experiences culture shock.

Why Can't you see the bacteria in milk?

Because it gets past-your-eyes (pasteurized)

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

When someone says "It is what it is," I reply, "Isn't it?

so we can both sound useless.

Why are you rushin'?

Too which I replied "Because my grandpa is from Moscow." Duh..

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?

To get to the other side!

How many Americans does it take to change a light bulb?

Just kidding, you can't change anything in the United States.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

A grocery store cashier asked if I would like my milk in a bag.

I told her 'No, thanks. The carton works fine.'

How many 1st AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Why are you asking me that question Can't you see I'm busy!

Attract Jokes More Attract Jokes

What did the one electron say to the other when it asked it out on a date?

Get outta here, I'm not attracted to you!

What attracted you to our company?

Well, I heard you pay money in exchange for work

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why did the auditor cross the road?

Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last year.

Why did religion cross the road?

God is the answer.

John Lennon Jokes More John Lennon Jokes

What is John Lennon's favourite donut?

Strawberry Filled forever!

Why did John Lennon get shot?

because Mark Chapman was a terrible shot, and kept missing Yoko.

Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

Whenever we keep the money in the bags our son steals it, I don't know what to do?

Husband : Keep it in his books. I know he will never touch them....

Why the turnout at Michael Jackson's funeral?

He touched a lot of people.