Pavement Jokes

What did the pavement smoother say after he lost his hands?

I literally can't even."

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When a 16-inch viola and a 17-inch viola are dropped simultaneously from a 30-story building which one hits the pavement first?

A: Who cares!

What do you call the small amount of time between when you slip on a peel and when you hit the pavement?

A bananosecond

What was John Lennons final hit?

The pavement

What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety?

Crumbs!

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Reach Jokes More Reach Jokes

Why does Peter Dinklage drink Smirnoff?

Because he can't reach for the Grey Goose

What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?

Irritable Brawls in Rome

Care Jokes More Care Jokes

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb?

I don't care. You pick

Why is a blonde like Australia?

A: They're both down under and no one cares.

Cookie Jokes More Cookie Jokes

What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety?

Crumbs!

What do you call a pig making cookies?

Bakin'!

Peel Jokes More Peel Jokes

Why don't you go down on a girl first thing in the morning?

Haven't you ever peeled apart a hot grilled cheese sandwich?

What do you do when you're sunburned?

Make like a banana and peel.

Slip Jokes More Slip Jokes

What food is given to ebola patients?

Pizza because it can be slipped under the door.

How can you tell when a Chicago Fireman is dead?

A. The remote control slips from his hand.

Small Jokes More Small Jokes

What do you call a 7' 2" fortune teller in his underpants?

A large medium in smalls.

What is the smallest part of a little person?

Their wee-knees!

Safety Jokes More Safety Jokes

What does music have to do with safety?

If you don't C sharp, you'll B flat.

What was the best thing Kurt Cobain ever released?

The safety.

John Lennon Jokes More John Lennon Jokes

What is John Lennon's favourite donut?

Strawberry Filled forever!

What if it all goes wrong and they clone millions of John Lennons?

Imagine all the people..