Pavement Jokes

What did the pavement smoother say after he lost his hands?

I literally can't even."

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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When a 16-inch viola and a 17-inch viola are dropped simultaneously from a 30-story building which one hits the pavement first?

A: Who cares!

What do you call the small amount of time between when you slip on a peel and when you hit the pavement?

A bananosecond

What was John Lennons final hit?

The pavement

What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety?

Crumbs!

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Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

How do you get a clown off of its unicycle?

Hit it in the face with a pickaxe.

What is the definition of torque?

When you wake up in the morning with an erection so stiff, that when you bend it down to take a leak, your legs kick back and you hit your head on the toilet.

Peel Jokes More Peel Jokes

Why don't blondes like M&ampMs?

They're so damned hard to peel.

What did the one banana say to the other banana who had his feelings hurt?

I know that peel.

Crumb Jokes More Crumb Jokes

Why do you want to work here?

ME: *crumbs tumbling from my mouth* Oh, I don't. I was just walking by and saw you had donuts.

What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety?

Crumbs!

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What do you call a pirate who is lost at sea and has to drink his own pee to survive?

Aarrrrrrr Kelly!

What makes me want to lose the will to live?

r/Jokes!

Cookie Jokes More Cookie Jokes

What does Beyonce bake her cookies on?

Aluminatti foil

What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety?

Crumbs!

30 Jokes More 30 Jokes

How do you get 30 drunk Americans out of the pool?

Allahu Akhbarrrr"

What did they tell the most famous child actress from the 30's when she tried to audition for a role in Harry Potter?

Shirley you can't be Sirius.

Reach Jokes More Reach Jokes

Who reached the ground first?

Noone cares.

Why do Little People hate the taste of alcohol?

Because they can't reach the top shelf.

John Lennon Jokes More John Lennon Jokes

How did John Lennon like his Pop Tarts?

Strawberry filled forever.

What was John Lennons final hit?

The pavement