Pavement Jokes

What did the pavement smoother say after he lost his hands?

I literally can't even."

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When a 16-inch viola and a 17-inch viola are dropped simultaneously from a 30-story building which one hits the pavement first?

A: Who cares!

What do you call the small amount of time between when you slip on a peel and when you hit the pavement?

A bananosecond

What was John Lennons final hit?

The pavement

What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety?

Crumbs!

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

How can you tell if your wife left you?

You get laid the same amount of times but the dishes start to pile up. Hey now!

Why is 'The Game' the most powerful rapper?

Because you lose every time you talk about him ( )

John Lennon Jokes More John Lennon Jokes

Why was John Lennon so ashy?

Because he was cremated

What if it all goes wrong and they clone millions of John Lennons?

Imagine all the people..

Small Jokes More Small Jokes

What do you call the small amount of time between when you slip on a peel and when you hit the pavement?

A bananosecond

Why did EA remove gender restrictions in The Sims 4?

They're just doing their small part, because EA loves micro trans actions.

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?

He got hit by a bus

Who hits the ground first?

Better question would be: Why were they in the tree in the first place?

Reach Jokes More Reach Jokes

What did Cinderella say when she reached the ball?

Nothing, she just made gagging noises

When did you first miss it dear?

Professor: When I reached up to close it after the rain had stopped.

Slip Jokes More Slip Jokes

What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast?

How slime flies!

What is worse than a whale with a sore tooth?

Going to kiss your grandmother goodnight and she slips you the tongue.

Safety Jokes More Safety Jokes

What person strives to ensure safety for horses?

Ralph Neighder!

Why was Santa sacked two days before Christmas?

Elf and safety

30 Jokes More 30 Jokes

How many Chiropractors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, but they'll take 30 visits to do it.

What if weight loss supplements ads are just made by British people really transparently trying to scam you?

You'll lost 30 for only $42.82! Guaranteed.