Joint Jokes

What do you call two stoners sharing a joint over dessert?

Joint custardy

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Why cant Mexicans smoke joints?

They aint ever got any papers

What happens when you give a cow a joint?

The steaks are high

What do you call someone who smokes two joints?

Double jointed.

Why is something that keeps you from burning your fingers on a joint called a roach clip?

Because potholder was already taken

What is it called when Michael J. Fox smokes a joint?

Shake N' Bake.

What did Snoop Dogg say upon graduation as a EE major?

My circuit breaker be trippin and my joint wouldn't solder...

Why did the monkey put a bone in his mouth?

He wanted to smoke a joint!

What did the maggot say to another ?

What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this !

Why were the welder and stoner such good friends?

They both love to spark up joints.

What did the Time Traveller find when he brought a joint to Ancient Greece?

The Philosophers Stoned

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What would the punishment be for smoking a joint in the times of Jesus Christ?

You would get stoned. And then get rocks thrown at you.

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Drug Jokes More Drug Jokes

Why don't you talk to John anymore, you used to be best friends?

Son: Well, would you be friends with someone who was stupid, took drugs and was drunk all the time? Mom: No, Never! Son: Well neither would he!

What is someone who takes drugs?

What is someone who drinks What hit you in the face last night

Bake Jokes More Bake Jokes

What did you do on the weekend?

ME: I baked CW: Nice. What did you bake ME: Me

Why does the baker bake?

Because he kneads the dough.

Groove Jokes More Groove Jokes

How do know a job's been done by a lesbian carpenter?

There are no nails, and no screws, it's all tongue and groove!

How many nails are there in a lesbian's coffin?

None. It is all tongue and groove

Italian Jokes More Italian Jokes

What do you call an Italian with no hands?

Mute

What does an Italian sound like walking through the rain?

Dago wop wop wop

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

What did the bird say when he flew over K-Mart?

Caw Caw why'd my natural habitat get replaced with 165 000 square feet of consumerist wasteland lol

Why did Erdogan stop a man from jumping off a bridge?

One does not simply fly in Turkish airspace without Erdogan's permission.

Share Jokes More Share Jokes

How do Frenchmen share files?

Pierre to Pierre.

What do you call a water fowl looking in a window?

Peking duck. (it came to mind over dinner... I thought I would share the pain with everyone)

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

How did the polish terrorist burn his lips?

Burned them on a cars tailpipe when he tried blowing it up.

Why did the woman leave her overweight husband unconscious in a burning building?

Because she couldn't stand him.

Cow Jokes More Cow Jokes

Why did the cows keep returning to the field of marijuana?

It was the pot calling the cattle back.

Why do you take baths in milk?

I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower."