Lego Jokes

Where does the Lego man get his drugs?

His K'Nex!

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What does the Lego man do for fun?

He throws a block party.

How do you measure a Lego minifigure's shoe size?

In square feet.

How do you measure a Lego figure's shoe size?

In square feet.

Why was the Lego boxer unmatched in the ring?

He was a master of blocking attacks.

How late?

Cut to me trapped inside a tiny house made from Lego* I've no idea to be honest with you...

What'd u ask Santa for 6: a speed boat M: like a Lego boat?

6: no M: oh for the bath 6: no M: the pool 6: *doesnt break eye contact* no

What do you call a disabled Lego?

An O.

What's worse than stepping on a Lego in the middle of the night?

A landmine.

Why do adults like Legos so much, when they grow old?

They can't lego of their childhood. Tell some more Lego puns, here!

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Bath Jokes More Bath Jokes

What can we do to stop polluting our waters ?

Pupil: Stop taking baths

What's Jay-z's favorite store?

Bed, bath and Beyond-ce.

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

How do I stay in shape?

I stole an ostrich, it chases me around the house all day, i hate it

Why can't Caitlyn Jenner's kids ever find their mom?

Because she is Trans-parent! (Not hate. Just a pun I thought of.)

Pool Jokes More Pool Jokes

What's the difference between a paddling pool and a toddler?

The pool doesn't scream when you go in dry.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs... ... sitting at your door?

Matt. ...floating in your pool Bob. ...hanging on your wall Art. ... water skiing Skipper.

Idea Jokes More Idea Jokes

How many men do you need to defend Paris?

I have no idea. Nobody ever tried.

What do you call a boat whose captain has no idea what he's doing and works for free?

The Internship

Fortune Jokes More Fortune Jokes

What is a dolphin's favorite TV show ?

Whale of fortune !

How many tunes should the bard play?

Fortunes.

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What do you call one of Santa's helpers?

A subordinate clause

Why did the blond slap Santa?

He kept saying "Ho Ho Ho" *dum roll - rim slap*

Plastic Surgery Jokes More Plastic Surgery Jokes

How does a woman show she's planning for the future?

Plastic Surgery.

What is the cost of plastic surgery?

Doctor: It is near about 10,000$. Patient: Well, what if we arrange the plastic

Break Jokes More Break Jokes

When can't a pencil write out a check?

When it's broke.

How many hippies does it take to change a lightbulb?

Please help. There are ten so far and they have invited their gross friends to our home. They are using the broken lightbulb to smoke crack off of.