Painting Jokes

What do you call someone who discriminates against paintings?

An artist. My 11 year son just came up with this one.

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What happens when you put too many paintings in your car?

You can't make your van gogh.

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Tape Jokes More Tape Jokes

What do you give someone who is about to tear up?

Tape

Where were u on the nite of the 5th?

Stabbing a guy. "Louder for the tape." leans in Grabbing a pie. I went out for pie.

Painter Jokes More Painter Jokes

What did the painter say to her boyfriend?

I love you with all my art!"

Which painter always had a very bad cold?

Vincent Van Cough

Shovel Jokes More Shovel Jokes

How you turn a washer into a snow blower?

Hand her a shovel

What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel, and a dachshund?

A hot diggity dog.

Supper Jokes More Supper Jokes

What's the difference between Jesus and the painting of the Last Supper?

You only need one nail to hang the painting.

Why did Jesus drink wine at the last supper?

Because in 3 days, he would be a raisin

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

Why was the doctor forced to leave work early?

The hospital ran all out of patience

Why would The Doctor and Storm get along?

Because he is the heart of the storm.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why was Darth Vader so upset?

He was looking for the Rebels in Aldeerwrong places...

What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk ?

Dirty looks from the mouse !

Plan Jokes More Plan Jokes

Why was the mathematician detained at the airport?

Because he planned to blow up a plane.

How do you foil a plan?

p + l)(a + n)=pa+pn+la+ln

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

What did the blonde's left leg say to the right leg?

Between us, I think we can make a lot of money!"

How did the hail stone describe it's life?

It really has a lot of ups and downs