Past Jokes

Why are there so many women archaeologists?

Because women love digging up the past.

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Why are there so many Redditor archeologists?

Because loves digging up the past.

What was the ancient language Link needed a book to translate in "A Link to the Past"?

Hyruleglyphics.

What do you call a crocodile/robot sent from the future to save the past?

Termigator (jesus christ this one's even worse than the last)

What do you call presents after you've opened them?

Pasts

Why weren't you at work last week?

Me: Why are you living in the past

Why do so many girls do archaeology degrees?

Because they love digging up the past.

What do you mean I can't change the past?

logs on to Wikipedia*

What does a cranky Japanese person suffer from?

PAST: Post Atomic Stress Disorder

Why are there so many women archeologists?

Because they love digging up the past.

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Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

Which kid is mine?

I like to reply "I haven't decided yet."

Why did the scale decide that the scam artists were heavier than the novels?

Because the cons outweighed the prose.

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

How do you get a Polak out of the bath tub?

A: Throw in a bar of soap.

How do u tell the population of a small native village?

throw a bunch of pocket change in the middle of town. How do u tell who is the richest person in that village? Find the person who gathered the most change.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why did the chicken run around screaming?

Because he had to use the bathroom.

What do you call a terrorist-run snowball stand?

Italian ISIS

Blind Man Jokes More Blind Man Jokes

What is the worse thing you can do to a blind man?

Leave the plunger in the toilet!

How does the blind man know when to stop wiping his arse?

I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.

Paste Jokes More Paste Jokes

Why did people stop printing stamps with photo of Pamela Anderson?

Banta: Because people started licking the wrong side of it for pasting them on the envelopes..

What do you call a fly without wings?

Paste unoriginal joke here)

Dig Jokes More Dig Jokes

How is digging fence post holes like being the mayor of Toronto?

It goes pretty smoothly until you start hitting the rock.

What do you call it when a Mexican digs their feet under the sand?

Bury-toes. Hah hah

Camp Jokes More Camp Jokes

Why did the gamer refuse to join the Boy Scouts?

He hates camping

What does the commander say to the firing squad when they go camping?

Ready, aim, make the FIRE!

Phone Box Jokes More Phone Box Jokes

How do you get 100 Ethiopians in a phone box?

Throw a tin of beans in there ..... How do you get them back out of it? Run past with the tin opener .....

What do you call an elephant in a phone box?

Stuck.