Prison Guard Jokes

Why do prison guards use Proactive all the time?

So they can prevent breakouts.

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Why was Mac OS X hired as the prison guard?

Because he kept locking up.

What did the cat say to the prison guard?

Let MEOOWWWWTTTT!!!!

Why do prison guards use Proactive?

To prevent further breakouts.

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Let Jokes More Let Jokes

Why are you letting people touch your new born?

I don't let people touch my new iPhone

What did the hen say to his bar pals?

Let's get some chicks!

Mac Jokes More Mac Jokes

How do Jedis close their programs on a Mac?

They use Force quit.

What's the Difference Between Steve Jobs and Bill Gates?

Bill Gates never got a Mac, but Steve Jobs got PC.

Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

Why does hiring a ship illegally always cost $3.14?

Because theyre pi rates.

How do you go about hiring a horse?

Try two pairs of stilts!

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why do pterodactyls use the bathroom so quietly?

Because their p is quiet.

Why does the NSA hate winter?

Because they're not used to getting Snowden. (I'll see myself out)

Matter Jokes More Matter Jokes

How is a speech impediment like a box of chocolates?

It doesn't really matter, as long as it has good cocoa content.

What do you give a kid with no hands for Christmas?

Doesnt matter, he'll never unwrap the gift

Breakout Jokes More Breakout Jokes

Why do prison guards use Proactive all the time?

So they can prevent breakouts.

Why do prison guards use Proactive?

To prevent further breakouts.

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

What do you call a cat with 3 legs?

A handicat

Why did the cat fall into the well?

Because he couldn't see that well.

Lock Jokes More Lock Jokes

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?

Are they afraid someone might accidentally clean them

What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car outside of a Planned Parenthood?

Going inside to ask for a coat hanger.