Seagulls Jokes

What do you do when you see a Flock of Seagulls?

You run. You run so far away.

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Why won't A Flock of Seagulls perform in the Middle East?

Iran so far away

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Cover Jokes More Cover Jokes

Why did the old lady cover her mouth with her hands when she sneezed?

To catch her false teeth.

Why do you hold your hand flat above your eyes when you look into the distance?

Because when you would cover your eyes with your hand, you wouldn't see sh*t. I'm lame.

Flock Jokes More Flock Jokes

What's Gandalf's favorite band?

A Flock of Smeagols

How do you know if a flock of geese is from Canada?

They fly in an 'A' (eh)

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

How did Pinocchio figure out he was made of wood?

He was jacking off one day and his hand caught on fire.

How long does a United States Congressman serve?

ANSWER: Until he gets caught.

Sue Jokes More Sue Jokes

Why did the oil covered seagull get sued?

There can only be one goo gull

How does a lawyer name their kids?

Bill and Sue

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What will you call a person who sleeps next to a close relative?

A) NapKin

What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?

They both know when you are sleeping.

Develop Jokes More Develop Jokes

What's the difference between a jar of mayonnaise and France?

If you leave the jar alone for 200 years it'll develop a culture.

What's the difference between white people and yogurt?

If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it will finally develop its own cultures

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why were Jeremy Clarkson's colleagues excited to try his mulled wine?

Because they'd been floored by his punch.

What do you call a pilot who tries to tell a joke but gets distracted and crashes his plane into a building?

A comickaze

Dump Jokes More Dump Jokes

Why was the mother flea feeling down in the dumps?

Because she thought her children were all going to the dogs.

Why was the 6'6" guy so brokenhearted after his 4'9" girlfriend dumped him?

A: He was nuts over her.