Secret Service Jokes

How do you tell the difference between Al Gore and the secret service when they're in the same room?

Al Gore's the stiff one.

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What is the only law enforcement agency that will get in trouble if a black man is shot?

The Secret Service

What is the difference between the regular police and the secret service?

The secret service is the only police that gets in trouble if a black person dies. Shamelessly stolen from the correspondents' dinner.

Why did Bill and Hillary send Chelsea to a private school?

A: If they sent her to a public school the secret service would be out-gunned!

Why do you want to join the Secret Service?

Me: "It's a secret." Job interviewer: "You got the job."

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Bill Jokes More Bill Jokes

Why couldn't the pig pay his bill?

He was a little shoat.

What did the hotel manager say to the elephant that couldn't pay his bill ?

Pack your trunk and clear out !"

Donald Jokes More Donald Jokes

What did Hillary say when she bumped into Donald after the election?

Pardon me"

What do you call a show about The Donald winning the presidency?

Orange is the New Black

Donald Duck Jokes More Donald Duck Jokes

Who's no chicken?

Donald duck.

Why are you upset?

Her: Me: Was it the Donald- Her: Yes, it was the Donald Duck voice.

Hillary Jokes More Hillary Jokes

What do you call someone who supports Hillary?

Paid off.

Why does Hillary keep bumping into people at the White House?

So she can be pardoned.

Trouble Jokes More Trouble Jokes

Why do health magazines targeting hypochondriacs have so much trouble maintaining subscriber levels?

Because none of their readers believe them when they receive a warning that it's their final issue.

What do you give an alligator who is having trouble hearing?

A gator-aid. Bet you did see that one coming:P

Stiff Jokes More Stiff Jokes

What's the difference between a condom and a coffin?

Well, both carry stiffs, but one's for coming and the other's for going.

How do you spot Al Gore in a room full of secret service agents?

A: He's the stiff one.

Spot Jokes More Spot Jokes

Why do tigers have stripes?

They don't want to be spotted.

How do you spot a vegan at the gym?

Pretty much the same as anyone else.

Secret Jokes More Secret Jokes

Why can't you keep a secret in a cornfield?

There's too many ears

What kind of dog is best at keeping secrets?

hush puppies