Self Jokes

How do tacos fair in a war?

They tend to be shells of their former selves

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How do you get a Samsung owner to throw their phone out the window?

End your text with "this message will self destruct in 10 seconds"

What types of jokes grow on you?

They ones that go viral. I'll see my self out.

How do you know Sia is Scottish?

Because she loves sheep thrills! *shows self out

How did the cavemen in the far east protect them selves?

They Rocked their doors.

Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?

Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.

How does a ghost defend its self?

Kung Boo

What'd the ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing they just waved.... I'll show my self out

What's the best dating service in India?

Connect the dots. (I'll see my self out.)

Why was Mohamed Ali born a fighter?

In the womb, he used to fight bald clowns. (Self made joke)

Why did the priest dislike geometry?

It's sin-ful. self made joke

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you call it when an inmate takes a picture of their-self?

A Cellfie

What do you call something that you do to your self with one hand?

A Selfie!

How does a Mathematician hang them selves?

With a hypotenuse.

Whos the funniest disney princess?

raPUNzel *sits there laughing to self* ...so lonely..

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End Jokes More End Jokes

Why do they say 'Amen' at the end of a prayer instead of 'Awomen'?

A: The same reason they sing Hymns instead of Hers!

Why does Poland stay from Germany?

a couple decades ago they had a three way with Russia that ended poorly

Window Jokes More Window Jokes

Why did Microsoft go straight to Windows 10 and skip 9?

Because Windows 8 9.

What did one window say to the other window?

I'm in pane

Catholic Jokes More Catholic Jokes

Did you hear the joke about the wandering nun?

She was a roman catholic.

What do Catholic priests and the Zika Virus have in common?

They both give kids a little head.

Pokemon Jokes More Pokemon Jokes

What's the only Pokemon that doesn't evolve?

Any black Pokemon, really.

What does the Pokemon dentist do?

He takes a Pikachu teeth.

Self Esteem Jokes More Self Esteem Jokes

What did the second guesser with no self esteem say to Reddit?

edit: nevermind...

What do Dave Mirra and The Offspring have in common?

No Self Esteem!

Crucify Jokes More Crucify Jokes

Why were all Roman buildings made of stone?

They crucified the carpenter.

What did Jesus say while he was getting crucified?

A: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! (feel free to share yours)

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Which joke is better?

How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus? Ten tickles. How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus? Ten tickles.

What happened to the joke that insulted the mods?

People laughed, because it was a good joke.

Type Jokes More Type Jokes

What are you typing?

Let me guess. Oh wait, stop right there, I know what it is. It's not that Okay wait.. I know it, I know it!" -Google.

What type of government would a nation ran by Alvin and the Chipmunks be called?

A theocracy.