Crucify Jokes

What did the roman soldier say after crucifying Jesus?

Nailed it

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Why was Jesus crucified instead of stoned?

So Catholics could do this makes the sign of the cross, instead of this bangs self in head with fists.

What did they call Jesus Christ when he was crucified?

Holy

What happens to crude people?

Crucified.

What does a British midget get when he is told he is going to be crucified?

He gets a little cross.

Why were all Roman buildings made of stone?

They crucified the carpenter.

What did the Romans say to each other after crucifying Jesus?

Nailed it!"

Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha?

I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.

How did Jesus feel when they crucified him?

He was cross.

What did Asian Jesus say before he was crucified?

OC) YORO (You only resurrect once)

What was Jesus' reaction to being crucified?

He was cross.

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What did Jesus say while he was getting crucified?

A: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! (feel free to share yours)

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Whats the difference between your Mom and the Pringles guy?

I can't get my whole fist in the Pringles guy's can.

How much should I trim off the back?

Me: Leave it long enough for him to wrap around his fist twice.

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why do some people like to date pessimists?

All that salt must make them thirsty.

What do you call it when a book spies on people?

A: A peeping tome.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What do you mean you were really drunk?

I already changed my Facebook relationship status for you.

What does AF mean?

After Flossing. Now go brush your teeth and they will be clean AF. Why do you ask 10: Mom said you were lazy AF.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

How did Jesus like his chicken?

Crucifried

How do we know Jesus wasn't a virgin?

Because he got nailed three times.

Asian Jokes More Asian Jokes

What do you call a productive Asian?

China get something done.

What do you call a calm Asian man?

A Mellow Yellow

Resurrect Jokes More Resurrect Jokes

What did Asian Jesus say before he was crucified?

OC) YORO (You only resurrect once)

What did Jesus say after he was resurrected?

Nailed it

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What would happen if the BLM people became white lives matter?

They would finally be right.

What happened to the plan of starting a book club?

It got shelved.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell the pig is a failure as Easter bunny?

By the egg on its face.

What did one smell say to the odor?

You stink at telling jokes."