Statement Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's the difference between sarcasm and a serious statement?

What're you asking me for I have Asperger's.

Why can't acids argue well?

All their statements are baseless.

Why does chav code never compile?

They end every statement with init

You might also enjoy:

Meme Jokes More Meme Jokes

How do memes go to the proms?

In a lmaosine

What is the opposite of a meme?

A youyou

Press Jokes More Press Jokes

Why'd the factory worker hate their job?

Because it was soda pressing.

What happened to when the coke bottle was ran over by the steam roller?

He was soda pressed.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

Why would Pinocchio make a bad criminal?

He wasn't cut out for this.

What do Mexicans cut their pizza with?

I asked, "What " He said, "Little Caesars!"

Karma Jokes More Karma Jokes

What did Reddit say to his elderly mother when he tried to take her to a home?

Get in the Karma.

What do you call a Russian airliner that goes down over Egypt?

Karma.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What did Santa Clause say when he came down Lindsay Lohan's chimney and found her spending Christmas Eve with her pals Miley Cyrus and Paris Hilton?

A: Ho, ho, ho!

What works better than anti-depressants?

A 12 Gauge in the mouth This came to me whilst being all depressed.

Box Jokes More Box Jokes

Why was the blond happy she finished the jigsaw puzzle in six months?

It said 2 to 4 years on the box.

What is blue, green, red, yellow, purple, orange, black, brown, and gray?

A: A box of crayons.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What do you get when you mix Fascism and Communism?

I don't know, that's why I was asking you.

Why is it best to ask photographers personal questions at night?

X-post r/photography) Because they open up when it gets dark.

Clau Jokes More Clau Jokes

What does Santa call his wife at tax time?

A: A dependent Claus.

What does Santa call it when Mrs. Claus gives him road head?

Getting sleighed.