Tissue Jokes

Whats the biggest difference between men and women?

The phrase I went through a whole box of tissues watching that film. is a good place to start.

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How can you tell if someone is having a stroke?

There is lotion and used tissues laying around

What do you call allergy season without any Kleenexes?

A tissue

Why do ghosts carry tissues?

Because they have BOOOOgers.

What do you call a tissue that is sleeping?

A napkin

Why did the skunk buy four boxes of tissues?

Because he had a stinking cold!

Why did the tissue get up and dance?

It had a little boogy in it.

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Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why did Misty want to sleep with Brock?

She saw his Onix harden.

What do you call an Irishman who slept out on the lawn all night?

Patty-OFurniture

Stroke Jokes More Stroke Jokes

What do you call it when Einstein faps?

A stroke of genius.

What do you call an inspiring jerk session?

A stroke of genius!

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why do people keep buying velcro?

It's such a ripoff.

What do you call the guy you buy your weed from?

Your chron-tact.

Lotion Jokes More Lotion Jokes

Why do Republicans hate lotion?

Because the directions say to apply it liberally.

What did justin beiber say to his mom?

I FOUND MY MICROSCOPE, now all I need is my lotion and tweezers

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

Why did KGB officers always travel in threes?

One who could read, one who could write, and the third to watch over those two dangerous intellectuals.

What's 72?

What's 72? 69 with 3 people watching!

Napkin Jokes More Napkin Jokes

What will you call a person who sleeps next to a close relative?

A) NapKin

What do you call a relative of a nap?

A napkin.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a politician and an actor?

One acts solely for money, the other is the actor.

What's the difference between black people and cancer?

Cancer got Jobs

Nose Jokes More Nose Jokes

Why was the nose running?

Cuz it's a running nose

What's the best way to get King Kong to sit up and beg?

Wave a two-ton banana in front of his nose.