Vet Jokes

Why did the bodybuilder go to the vet?

Because his pythons were sick

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What do you call a vet that can only work on one animal?

A doctor

What do you call the tech. at the vets who has to give injections to cats?

Claude.

Why did the dog go to the vets?

He was pawly. I'm sorry. I'll see myself out.

What did the dog say to the vet that just castrated him?

No hard feelings.

Why were the vets and pounds mad?

It was raining cats and dogs

What does a dog get at the vet?

FIXED

Why Chinese vet never hungry?

Dog have rice.

Why wouldn't the dog attend the Veterans Day Parade?

There were too many vets.

What did the vet say to the dog he just castrated?

No hard feelings.

How do you know your dog's cancer is really bad?

If the vet says it's mutt-astasized.

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How do I do that?

he asked. "Carefully" replied the vet.

Why are we at the vet?

Me: So our pig can't have babies 6: How do you know she doesn't want babies Me:*looks at my kids* Just a hunch

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What do you call a french man who's been attacked by a bear?

Claude

What do you call a man without arms or legs who gets into a fight with his cat?

Claude!

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did Mr T say when asked if he had any wool?

Yes sir, yes sir, three bags, fool.

How does a witch doctor ask a girl to dance ?

Voodoo like to dance with me '

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air ?

A seahorse !

What's the difference between this morning and your wife?

I'm not coming in *this morning*"

Vietnam Jokes More Vietnam Jokes

What does a menopausal Vietnam vet suffer from?

Hot flashbacks

Why didn't Vietnam return to feudalism following 1975?

Cause Charlie don't serf.

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

What noise does a cat make going down the highway ?

Miaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow !

How many cats does it take for a woman to qualify as a "crazy cat lady?

None. Just a couple of youtube cat videos.

Python Jokes More Python Jokes

What do most people do when they see a python ?

They re-coil !

What is another word for a python ?

A mega-bite !

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many bugs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, as long as they can find a way in.

How many Star Trek captains does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, but there are FOUR LIGHTS!

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Don't be silly, feminists can't change anything!

How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

10. 1 to change it and 9 to say they could have done it better.