Vet Jokes

Why did the bodybuilder go to the vet?

Because his pythons were sick

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What do you call a vet that can only work on one animal?

A doctor

What do you call the tech. at the vets who has to give injections to cats?

Claude.

Why did the dog go to the vets?

He was pawly. I'm sorry. I'll see myself out.

What did the dog say to the vet that just castrated him?

No hard feelings.

Why were the vets and pounds mad?

It was raining cats and dogs

What does a dog get at the vet?

FIXED

Why Chinese vet never hungry?

Dog have rice.

Why wouldn't the dog attend the Veterans Day Parade?

There were too many vets.

What did the vet say to the dog he just castrated?

No hard feelings.

How do you know your dog's cancer is really bad?

If the vet says it's mutt-astasized.

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How do I do that?

he asked. "Carefully" replied the vet.

Why are we at the vet?

Me: So our pig can't have babies 6: How do you know she doesn't want babies Me:*looks at my kids* Just a hunch

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Vietnam Vet Jokes More Vietnam Vet Jokes

How many Vietnam vets does it take to change a lightbulb?

YOU DON'T KNOW, MAN! YOU WEREN'T THERE!

How many Vietnam vets does it take the screw in a light bulb?

THAT'S RIGHT!!! YOU DON'T KNOW BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T THERE!!!

Chevy Jokes More Chevy Jokes

What do you call a retired Marine in a Chevy sports car?

A Corps vet in a Corvette.

What do 7 million Chevy's have in common?

I don't recall.

Bodybuilder Jokes More Bodybuilder Jokes

Why did the bodybuilder stop in the middle of the road?

They ran out of juice!

Whats the name of a bodybuilder whose a fan of the X-Men?

Huge Jackman

Marine Jokes More Marine Jokes

Why do they carry Marines around on Naval ships?

Because sheep would be too obvious.

What do you call a marine who can't swim?

A submarine.

American Jokes More American Jokes

What happened!?

The American responds, "Ei ffel".

Why do Americans just ignore the "H" in "Herb"?

Honestly, no idea!

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What did the doctor say when he saw two fetuses being too affectionate in public?

Get a womb, you two."

Why did the house go to the doctor?

It was having window panes.

Tech Jokes More Tech Jokes

How many IT techs does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ticket closed: Forwarded to facilities.

What's the most surprising advancement in tech?

Headphone jacks are obsolete.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why did my husband die?

Doctor responds: "Heavy drug use, ma'am" Widow: "But doctor, my husband didn't use drugs!" Doctor: "I know, but I did"

What did one earthquake say to the other earthquake?

I've been really stressed out lately, I know it's not your fault, but please stop cracking jokes about me