Attract Jokes

Why are TV's attracted to people?

Because we turn them on. / /

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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How can you attract a group of like minded friends?

This clique bait will shock you!

What are peas attracted to?

Chickpeas

Why was the monkey attracted to the paint?

Cuz it was yellow and appealing! Sorry if this is bad. Seen too many of the same jokes here and I wanted to add an original joke.

What do Canadian women put behind their ears to attract men?

Their ankles!

Why was Betty Boop never attracted to Mickey Mouse?

She's only attracted to colored guys.

Why do people buy smart cars?

Because opposites attract.

Why do people love their smartphones so much?

Because opposites attract. (Told to me by 2 students today, loved it!)

What's the best way to attract a pervert?

The NSFW tag, you freak

This joke may have profanity.

Why did the polish person marry someone from the other side of the country?

Because opposite poles attract

Why were the Persians attracted to the Anatolian Greeks?

Because they were Ionic.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What did the one electron say to the other when it asked it out on a date?

Get outta here, I'm not attracted to you!

Why do men like smart women?

A. Opposites attract.

What attracted you to our company?

Well, I heard you pay money in exchange for work

Where's my Spiderman costume?

I want to wear it to the science museum "In your closet, why " 9: DUH. To attract radioactive spiders!

Why were all the ladies attracted to Jesus?

Because he was hung like this. (Hold your arms out wide)

Why are all the ladies attracted to Voldemort?

Because of his hex appeal.

Why do all black people go to heaven?

The Son is attracted to black

How did the Royal Navy attract so many recruits?

They were impressive!

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What was the last thing that went through JFK's head?

A bullet.

What's the last thing you want to hear while using a urinal?

nice watch"

People Jokes More People Jokes

What is the preferred drink for people in St. Cloud?

Mini Soda

Why should you avoid people dressed as celery?

They could be stalking you!

Mickey Mouse Jokes More Mickey Mouse Jokes

Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space ?

He wanted to find Pluto !

Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

To find Pluto.

Pea Jokes More Pea Jokes

How do you drown a polar bear?

Cut a hole in the ice. Put a line of peas around the hole. When the polar bear takes a pea, kick him in the ice hole.

Why did the orange move to veggieland?

So he could live in peas and hominy.

Frenchman Jokes More Frenchman Jokes

What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandles?

Philippe Philoppe

What the difference between... a dead dog in the road and a dead Frenchman in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Skeleton Jokes More Skeleton Jokes

What instrument do skeletons play?

A trombone!

What's the difference between a racist person and a racist skeleton?

They both are insulting, but the skeleton doesn't have any body to share racist jokes with!

Original Joke Jokes More Original Joke Jokes

Why was the monkey attracted to the paint?

Cuz it was yellow and appealing! Sorry if this is bad. Seen too many of the same jokes here and I wanted to add an original joke.

Whats the difference between an original joke and a repost?

I dunno, i just click submit

Monkey Jokes More Monkey Jokes

How many monkeys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Monkeys screw in trees.

How do monkeys go down the stairs?

They slide down the banana-ster! :D