Woody Jokes

What did Woody say to Buzz?

A lot. There were 3 movies.

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What car does Woody drive?

AUDI ADUI ADUI!

What did Little Bo Peep say to Woody when she got caught screwing Buzz?

You got a friend in me.

What did woody and buzz say to your mom?

Strange to see your toys have the same name as us."

What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story, and a Catholic priest?

One goes limp when a child walks in the room.

What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a priest?

Only one of them goes limp when a child walks into a room.

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Month Jokes More Month Jokes

How long does it take for a black woman to poop?

Nine months.

Why was Adele's phone bill $500 this month?

She must have called a 1,000 times

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

Why do people in wheelchairs wear shoes?

Do they think they're gonna magically start walking

What did the silly boy take his bicycle to bed with him?

Because he didn't want to walk in his sleep.

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

What type of trees do chickens grow on?

Poul-trees

What is grey, very big and when it falls out of a tree the stove breaks?

The stove.

Catholic Jokes More Catholic Jokes

What is a Catholic's favorite weapon?

Nun-chucks.

What do you call sleep walking nun?

Roaming Catholic

Buzz Jokes More Buzz Jokes

Why do bees buzz ?

Because they can't whistle !

What buzzes is black and yellow and goes along the bottom of the sea ?

A bee in a submarine !

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Why is Def leppard the best band to listen to while driving?

Because you only need one arm to drum along..

What type of car would Jesus drive?

A Chrysler

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

Why does the mushroom have a lot of friends?

He's a fungi

Why did the barracuda want to hire the clown fish's anemone?

Because the barracuda believed that "anemone of my enemy is a friend."

Woody Harrelson Jokes More Woody Harrelson Jokes

Why does Woody Harrelson's wife call him Moses?

Because he Ramparts the red sea each month

What part does Woody Harrelson want to be remembered for most?

Harrelson's woodie.