Scare Jokes

What's with everyone being scared of clowns recently?

Americas already got two running for president.

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How to scare parents?

Dad: "Can I see your report card, son?" Son: "I don't have it." Dad: "Why?" Son: "I gave it to my friend. He wanted to scare his parents."

Why don't blind people skydive?

It scares their dogs too much

How does a woman scare a gynecologist?

By becoming a ventriloquist!

What do anime ghosts say to scare people?

Weeaboo

How do you scare away a Vestiphobic?

Say "Shoo".

What a plates scared off?

Ebowla.

How did Satan turn an unbeliever holy?

He scared the hell out of him.

Why does the German dad scare all the other kids?

Because he is ein Brtiger! The shirt should say it all. And I'm considering getting one.

What do you say when you are trying to scare your girlfriend?

Boo bae! (Read aloud please)

Why don't blind people like skydiving?

Scares their dogs.

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Why did the man put a dead tiger on his lawn?

To scare off Cat burglars!

Why dont blind people go skydiving?

It scares the hell out of the dog.

What happens when you go to the bathroom scared?

A spooky dookie.

What did the recent Sunni convert says about ISIS?

They really scared the Shiite outa me!

Why was the cow scared about going into the slaughter house?

His life was at stake. Badum psh.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Casper?

One is white and scares young children and the other is a ghost.

Why is it bad for blind people to skydive?

It scares the hell out of the dog

What's the difference in the KKK and the Supreme Court?

The KKK dresses in white and scares the hell out of black people, the Supreme Court dresses in black and scares the hell out of white people.

How do you scare a man?

Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.

Why don't blind people like to skydive?

Because it scares the dog.

How do you scare a snowman?

You get a hairdryer!

Why did a gambler scare everyone out swimming?

He was a card shark!

Why was the black kid scared when he had diarrhea?

He thought he was melting.

Why does the sun set at night?

The moon scares the daylights out of it!

What do you get when you scare a tree?

Petrified wood.

When do ghosts have to stop scaring people?

When they lose their haunting licenses.

What do coffee beans say to scare their friends?

Brew.

Who plays those kind of jokes anymore?

You're scaring my wife. She's only 12, jeez.

What's the difference between an expensive purchase and a loud noise that scares a chicken?

One costs an arm and a leg. The other caused alarm and an egg.

What happens when you scare an old lady?

Depends.

What happened to the ghost who couldn't scare?

He had to join a support group since he couldn't handle his boos.

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Gas Station Jokes More Gas Station Jokes

What's wrong honey?

My bad knee is acting up again. *knee robs a gas station*

What do you call a gas station that sells crabs?

A crustacean.

Clown Jokes More Clown Jokes

How do you get a clown to stop smiling?

Hit him in the face with an axe

How do you keep a clown from laughing?

Hit him in the face with an axe.

Prison Jokes More Prison Jokes

What do you call a friar in prison?

A felonious monk

What do they call me in prison?

Mitochondria, cause I'm the powerhouse of the cell

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

What does a turkey do when he flies upside down?

A: He gobbles up.

What do you call a black guy that flys a plane?

A pilot, you racist!

Weeaboo Jokes More Weeaboo Jokes

What do anime ghosts say to scare people?

Weeaboo

Where do weeaboos holiday?

Kawaii

Ghost Jokes More Ghost Jokes

How do you protect yourself from ghosts?

Hide in the living room.

When do ghosts usually appear?

Just before someone screams.

Parent Jokes More Parent Jokes

Why does not a forth-grader ever take the bus home?

Because he knew his parents will make him return it.

Why don't you see any transgendered parents?

Because they're trans-parent

Anime Jokes More Anime Jokes

What anime do Mexicans watch?

Boku no Pico de Gallo

What do ISIS and anime fans have in common?

They both get hot and bothered over cartoons.