00 Jokes

What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

I wouldn't pay $300 to have a garbanzo bean in my mouth

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's the difference between a green lentil and a chickpea?

I wouldn't pay $200 to have a green lentil on my face.

What's the difference between feminism and a $100 bill?

A $100 bill makes change

What's the difference between a lentil and a chick pea?

I won't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face.

Why did the calculator pay $100 for a pack of cigarettes?

There was a sin tax error. 8.5

What's the difference between a garbanzo and a chick pea?

I'm not spending $100 to have a garbanzo on my face.

What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives your girlfriend wild?

A $100 bill.

What do you call a circle of $100 bills?

Aretha Franklins! (Happy birthday to the Queen of Soul!)

Why did the crematorium operator get a $500 bonus?

Because he'd urn-ed it.

What is the difference between a lentil and a chick pea?

Well, for starters I would never pay $200 to have a lentil on my face.

What is the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?

A pervert wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on his face.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why was Adele's phone bill $500 this month?

She must have called a 1,000 times

What is my relationship?

Alex: No sorry tha- glares at wife I'll take YOU RUINED MY LIFE KAREN for $800 Alex

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Good Time Jokes More Good Time Jokes

Why did the hillbillies save some doe?

Because they knew it would give them a buck in good time.

When is the best time to raise money?

When there's a stripper in front of you.

Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

What does it sound like when two churches fight?

Pew Pew PEWPEWPEW!!!

What happened when the turkey got into a fight?

He got the stuffing knocked out of him.

Set Jokes More Set Jokes

What do you call a woman who sets all her money on fire?

Bernadette!

What's the easiest sport to get into?

Limbo. They don't set the bar very high.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

Why do we have a Thanksgiving holiday?

Student: "So we know when to start Christmas shopping!"

What's the difference between Bad Jokes and Dad Jokes?

One starts with B and the otber starts with D

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What's a closeted Isis fighter's favourite occasion during the year?

ram a man

How the hell did Caitlyn Jenner win women of the year?

She hasnt even been a women for a year yet.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why are the "sans" family of fonts so serious?

No one wants to be comic sans.

What did the one explorer say to the other when they arrived in Northern Canada?

Eh, you take this one. I don't want Nunavut. PS: I realize it's a double negative.

400 Jokes More 400 Jokes

How many volunteers do we have for my evil army?

384 my liege" "Ok, round them up" "400 my liege"

How many volunteers do we have for the army?

384 sir" "okay round them up" "400 sir"

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

What's with the knives?

Wait, stop. Please stop!" - pumpkin

What is this alien looking thing in a wig trying to sing?

Oh wait thats Nicki Minaj. Why would an alien in a wig pick Nicki Minaj as a name