2000 Jokes

What do you call 2000 mockingbirds?

Two kilomockingbirds (credit goes to my old physics book)

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Why didnt Craig buy Anne Franks shoes on Ebay for 2000$ ?

They were Holo-costly

What does modern horror films and the 2000 presidential election have in common?

It's Al Gore

Why has Stonehenge been there since 2000 BC?

because it's stoned.

How do you move a 2000 lb dinosaur?

Don't know?? Use DINO-MITE

Why did the Mexican army attack the Alamo with only 2000 soldiers?

they only had one pickup

How does Microsoft count to 10?

1, 2, 3, 95, 98, ME, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10.

Why are Vampires Democrats?

They want Gore in 2000.

What has 2000 eyes and 4000 feet?

A thousand dogs.

Why can't we edit tweets?

Because if we could I would edit a tweet with 2,000 retweets to say "RT if you hate puppies and babies."

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Craig Jokes More Craig Jokes

Why didnt Craig buy Anne Franks shoes on Ebay for 2000$ ?

They were Holo-costly

Who's there ! Craig ! Craig who ?

Craig in the wall !

Attack Jokes More Attack Jokes

Why do girls go to the bathroom in groups?

Hermione went alone and was attacked by a troll

How do you stop clowns from attacking you?

Go for the juggler

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs in the evening and 6 legs at night?

I've trapped it in my bedroom, send help...

What are the 2 numbers?

Her: 44&66 HARDER!

Alamo Jokes More Alamo Jokes

What did David Crockett say when he looked over the Alamo wall and saw 3000 Mexicans?

Hey I didn't know we were pouring concrete today.

Why were there only 1,000 Mexicans at the Alamo?

they only had 2 trucks

Bottle Jokes More Bottle Jokes

How did you meet daddy?

Me: Well, it all started with a friendly game of spin the bottle at the family reunion...

What did the bottle of milk say to the Mexican?

Soy milk.

Ebay Jokes More Ebay Jokes

How many livers do people have?

I want to make sure I have a backup before I put this thing on Ebay.

What do Intel, Google, Uber, eBay, McDonalds, Budweiser, AT&T, Oracle, Disney, Boeing, IBM and Apple have in common?

Immigrants

Al Gore Jokes More Al Gore Jokes

How do you tell the difference between Al Gore and the secret service when they're in the same room?

Al Gore's the stiff one.

How did AL Gore program his computer?

With the proper al-gor-ithms

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

What has 6 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet?

The Boston marathon finish line.

How many Arabs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

1.. 2.. 3.. BOOM