Advice Jokes

What was the desert's piece of advice?

Gobi yourself

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What advice would you give to a fish?

Stay in school and keep up with current affairs.

Why should you never trust advice from a group of gryphons?

Half of them are lyin'.

What advice did the frog give to the condom manufacturer?

Rib it.

What's the best part about taking advice from r/relationships ?

You'll never have to worry about being in a long-term relationship.

Why do single women take advice from other single women?

That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions

What advice to cows give?

Turn the udder cheek and mooooove on!

What advice does Jay Leno receive when sad?

Chin up pal.

Who would you ask for advice about a lion?

a lion or a gerbil The lion, because by virtue of being a lion, a lion is an expert on lions.

Never take advice from electrons.

They are always negative.

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Doin Jokes More Doin Jokes

Whatcha doin?

Papa would say, "I'M MINDING MY OWN DAMN BUSINESS." Best advice ever.

What's the difference between a Canadian and an Italian?

Where the "eh" is in the sentence. Canadian: "How you doin, eh " Italian: "Eh! How you doin "

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What did the mexican student say when he was asked to turn in his essay?

I ain't no snitch.

How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Twenty. 1 to hold the bulb 2 to turn the ladder and 17 to be on the guest list.

I'm Jokes More I'm Jokes

What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster?

I'M BREADY TO DIE"

Whatcha doin?

Papa would say, "I'M MINDING MY OWN DAMN BUSINESS." Best advice ever.

Get Jokes More Get Jokes

What did one leper say to another?

Got yer nose!

Who Got in an Accident?

There was a fork in the road.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do I want to do to your body?

I don't know. Identify it, I guess.

How does an Apple Watch owner know that it's midday?

It's already run out of battery.

Mario Jokes More Mario Jokes

What kind of fabric does Mario use?

Denim denim denim.

What are Mario and Luigi's favorite type of pants?

Denim, Denim, Denim

School Jokes More School Jokes

What do you call a stupid kid in pre-school?

Names.

What's a hotdog's best subject in school?

History. Because history has always been written by wieners.

Ray Charles Jokes More Ray Charles Jokes

What did Ray Charles say when they handed him a cheese grater?

This is the most violent thing I've ever read.

What rings twice and screams once?

Ray Charles answering the iron