Appear Jokes

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How many "a man walks into a bar" jokes does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but you can be sure a whole Reddit community will appear to expand the joke, make it funnier and eventually run it into the ground.

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Why was the ink happy?

Because it had its in-de-pen-dance. I'm posting lots of really bad jokes tonight that just appear in my head, if just one person enjoys just one joke is worth it, good evening.

Why doesn't ISIS appear in any Sci-Fi shows or movies?

because they are set in the future.

Why wasn't there a Captain America movie tie in videogame?

Because every time one bug was fixed, 2 more appeared.

What did Jesus want when he appeared on a piece of toast?

Miracle whip.

What would happen if Russia ran out of vodka?

Well, my dear reddit, in nature there is law of conservation of matter. Therefore, if the vodka disappeared somewhere, it would appear somewhere else. And then there would be Russia.

What's the difference between a magician and a psychologist?

A magician makes rabbits appear in hats, while a psychologist makes habits appear in rats.

What's green, white, and orange and only appears once a year?

Irish pride

What ever happened to the Energizer Bunny?

So the other day I'm talking to a friend about what happened to the Energizer Bunny. It's been quite sometime since I've seen him appear in a commercial. I was always under the impression that he "kept going." My friend proceeds to tell me the Energizer Bunny was arrested last year ,and they charged him with battery. Now it all makes sense.

Who is tall, orange-skinned, blatantly racist, should not be a politician, and makes everyone groan whenever he appears on TV?

Jar Jar Binks

How did the ghost song-and-dance act make a living?

By appearing in television spooktaculars.

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What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

What do you say to someone who appears to have done irreparable harm to themselves despite multiple warnings to the contrary?

A: U.K.

What appears over black man's head when he has an idea?

A fried Chicken leg

How much for the supermodel?

winks seductively "Ma'am, that's a mirror and you appear to be having a stroke."

What are the keys made of?

Me Uhh.. Rhino appears behind me Tell him Kyle

When do ghosts usually appear?

Just before someone screams.

Why does light travel faster than sound?

Because some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

What sign appears on abortion clinics in black communities?

Crime Prevention Center"

This joke may have profanity.

How many "a man walks into a bar" jokes does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but you can be sure a whole Reddit community will appear to expand the joke, make it funnier and eventually run it into the ground.

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Magician Jokes More Magician Jokes

What's the difference between a magician and a psychologist?

A magician makes rabbits appear in hats, while a psychologist makes habits appear in rats.

What did the Magician say when he took some Adderall?

Hocus Focus

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a physicist and a biologist?

A physicist is atoms studying themselves, while a biologist is cells that study themselves.

What's the difference between a headmaster and a poisonous snake ?

You can make a pet out of a snake !

Beach Jokes More Beach Jokes

Why did the shell not go to the beach?

Because he was self-CONCH-ious.

Why couldn't the Chinese geologist find a date?

He was vehemently opposed to wrong rocks on the beach.

Shaq Jokes More Shaq Jokes

What do Japan and Shaq have in common?

Kobe Beef

Where's is Shaq's appearance most terrifying?

On a beach near Boston.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

Why would Sally sell seashells by the seashore?

There are plenty there that are free. Just walk and you are bound to find at least 40. Idiot

What is Harry potters favorite way to get down a hill?

Walking....J.K . Rowling

Set Jokes More Set Jokes

What do you call ten sets of bagpipes at the bottom of the sea?

A start.

What's the downside of being a redneck kid at Christmas?

You only get presents from one set of grandparents.

Videogame Jokes More Videogame Jokes

Where do you go when you start up a videogame about Noodles?

To the lo mein menu

Why wasn't there a Captain America movie tie in videogame?

Because every time one bug was fixed, 2 more appeared.

Post Jokes More Post Jokes

Why do Gypsy's walk funny?

Because of their Crystal Balls EDIT: I'm not sure if anyone's posted this before my mum's sister emailed her from across the globe.(New Zealand) I laughed so hard I thought I'd put it here. Credit goes to my Mum's sister though.

Where do post go when they die in Reddit?

Everywhere else.