Apple Pie Jokes

What do you call an American who does not like apple pie?

A Communist

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Why is a praying muslim like apple pie with ice cream?

Both are in *a la mode*.

Whole Foods Cashier: Do you have your grocery bags?

Me: Kidding At $6 an apple you should drive them home and make an apple pie for me.

What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie ?

Puff pastry !

What did the apple say to the apple pie?

You've got some crust."

Why did the apple pie get fired from his job?

Because he showed up baked.

How do terrorists like their apple pie?

Allah mode.

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Why do girls always get mad when I try to read their shirts?

It's not my fault I'm blind.

What's the worst thing about your girlfriend having a miscarriage?

Trying to look upset.

Pray Jokes More Pray Jokes

What does Axl Rose do before he prays?

Gets down on his SHA-NA-NA-NA-NA-KNEES! KNEES!

What did the farmer say about his missing vegetables?

Lettuce pray they turnip.

Grocery Bag Jokes More Grocery Bag Jokes

Whole Foods Cashier: Do you have your grocery bags?

Me: Kidding At $6 an apple you should drive them home and make an apple pie for me.

What is the difference between michael jackson and a grocery bag?

One is white, plastic, and dangerous for your kids to play with and the other holds your groceries

Terrorist Jokes More Terrorist Jokes

What's the difference between a terrorist and a feminist?

The terrorist needs a trigger to blow things up.

What do you call a terrorist who's always late?

9/12

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

When you say you don't feel good "Are you pregnant?

people without kids "Do you have to poop " -people with kids

What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas?

Nothing, he didn't make it that far.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Why couldn't stevie wonder drive the bus?

There's no steering wheel in the back of the bus.

Why did the dog fail his driving test?

Because he's a dog. Dogs cannot drive.

Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

What is Apple's CEO's favourite TV show?

Lost

What is juicy on the inside, dry on the outside, and has "apple" in it?

A roasted baby with an apple in its mouth.

La Mode Jokes More La Mode Jokes

How does Davy Crockett like his pie?

la Mode

Why is a praying muslim like apple pie with ice cream?

Both are in *a la mode*.