Apple Pie Jokes

What do you call an American who does not like apple pie?

A Communist

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Why is a praying muslim like apple pie with ice cream?

Both are in *a la mode*.

Whole Foods Cashier: Do you have your grocery bags?

Me: Kidding At $6 an apple you should drive them home and make an apple pie for me.

What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie ?

Puff pastry !

What did the apple say to the apple pie?

You've got some crust."

Why did the apple pie get fired from his job?

Because he showed up baked.

How do terrorists like their apple pie?

Allah mode.

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American Jokes More American Jokes

What kind of tea did the American colonists want?

Liberty

How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, that's a Mexican's job.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What do you call a rich brown person driving an Audi?

A Saudi

What is the difference between St. Patrick and Christopher Columbus?

One drove all the snakes from Ireland, the other drove away all of the Native Americans.

Allah Mode Jokes More Allah Mode Jokes

How do terrorists like their apple pie?

Allah mode.

What do you call a Halal pie?

Allah mode.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why did Hannibal Lecter try DiGiorno's Pizza?

He heard it had de y flavor.

Why did Mexico reduce the number of days an American tourist can stay in their country from 180 days to 90 days ?

Because after 90 days in Mexico, even they try to enter the US illegally.

Communist Jokes More Communist Jokes

Why did Russia lose the race?

Because it was Stalin! (Sorry. Communist jokes aren't funny unless every gets them.)

What do you call a communist pirate ship?

The USS Arrrrrr

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What's the difference between a goat and a kid?

My neighbour isn't unknowingly raising two of my goats.

What bounces and makes kids cry?

The cheque I just sent to Save the Children.

Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

What lives in apples and is an avid reader?

A bookworm !

What hits the ground first?

The apple because the black man was stopped by a noose.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

Why did the ska kid not get the job?

they were worried about his checkered past

What did the rubber say when he was offered a job as the high school choir teacher?

I can't, I'm not a conductor." Pffffffhehewheheheheheh.